Wondering who Adrian Grenier’s woman of the mo’ is? She made an appearance in this Beanstockd Throwback last year…

Remember how in high school when the hot girl wanted her pencil sharpened, she wouldn’t get up and do it herself? She’d ask the nerdy kid in class to do it for her, and he would. He would because he couldn’t believe that the pretty girl was talking to him? Right. It’s so obsequious it’s hate-worthy. OK. Sure.

But there are some women that are so off-the-charts-gorgeous that George Clooney would go sharpen their pencil if asked, and if Hayden Panettiere were standing with these two other women and all the three of them were asking you to do was not to kill dolphins, would you still want to kill dolphins? You’d probably ask her if there were any way that you could take a couple home and raise them as your own offspring. In fact, you might even ship your own kid off for to a moss farm in the Siberian tundra during his formative years in favor of a dolphin if these women asked you to.

Following a mass slaughter of dolphins and captured whales, Panettiere and others held a surfers’ memorial circle in the still bloody waters of the massacre in Japan, yesterday. It was the second time the group risked arrest by paddling out into hunt’s waters. Every year, villages in Japan kill thousands of dolphins and use them as pet food and fertilizer. That’s messed up.

Hayden’s almost a real-life hero. And if she wants to be a hero who’s dropped a couple pounds in the last few months and wants to show off a little, who are we to judge? BD

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Owen Wilson, Jessica Simpson, Woody Harrelson, and some woman shooting a video at Willie Nelson’s annual “Bad Boy, Bad Girl Lawn Mower Race” at the country legend’s ranch.

In a photo at Willie Nelson’s house, Owen Wilson is wearing short sleeves and Jessica Simpson is wearing a gold medal. They’re definitely banging. X17 claims to have exclusive pictures of their first date. (Does it still count as a first date after you’ve been getting high and hooking-up at Willie Nelson’s?)

We’re pretty surprised to see Jess with these greenies. Willie Nelson is a champion for biodiesel and started Farm Aid. Woody is a Global Green Millennium Award winner and runs an eco-blog. Owen the Cutter bought solar panels for a Bronx housing project and rides his bike to Scores. Simpson? She’s been “Green Approved” by some guy who wants to paint her with stardust.

Bacon Bits

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In this month’s issue of Details Magazine, JRM gives us his best pout and pornstache

This could possibly be our favorite celebrity magazine spread ever. Jonathan Rhys Meyer’s interview is not the 2-pages of celeb-worshipping drivel that we’re used to, but is rather a hard-edged expose on the true inner-self of all celebrities…unfortunately Mr. Meyers probably did not understand the depth of his discussion because he was too busy thinking that he was just talking about himself.

A choice quote: “Part of being a narcissist is being terribly insecure. If I wasn’t so insecure about myself, I wouldn’t work as hard as I do. I am constantly seeking approval.” Now that’s true insight.

We appreciate Meyers’ honest introspection; he’s not one of those self-conscious celebs that claims to be uncomfortable in their own skin. Usually when a celebrity “admits” that they don’t like a certain part of their body, it’s almost as comical as when White House spokesperson Dana Perino discussed the health benefits of global warming yesterday saying that global warming spares those people who “die from cold-related deaths every winter.” These people should really fire their publicists. Chesterman

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For the woman who has given up her no-eating-after-4pm-diet, Elizabeth Hurley is still hot.

She’s not quite as bikini ready as she was in the days of, say, Bedazzled, but she still rocks her beachwear. This past weekend, Hurley took her husband and kid to the Seychelles to play on the beach in that orange bikini….and she took her ex of 13 years, Hugh Grant, with her!

Why on Earth would she take her old movie star husband with her on a trip with her new husband? It’s probably because they both wanted to cut down on their carbon emissions. We imagine this dialogue, which happened to come up as Hurley and Grant discussed their jointly owned homes together (delivered in charming British accents):

“No, Hugh, I shant be at the brownstone in Soho this weekend. Arun and I are going to the Seychelles.”

“Ah, the Seychelles! Lovely, Lizzie. I was rather thinking of taking the plane to pop off to some old beach myself.”

“Oh Hugh, well do think of coming with us. You know, if both our planes are up this week-end it will do all bollocks to the atmosphere.”

“Right-o, dear. I’ll just pack a bag and take the guest house.”

“Oh good! Damian will be so pleased to have Uncle Hugh along!”

“Cheerio, then, till Friday, Liz.”

“But oh Hugh,”

“Yes, Liz?”

“There’s a strict ban on prosititution at the resort, so why don’t you try not to be a complete wanker, and keep your willy tucked away in your bottoms.” –BradyDale

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Mark Zuckerberg knows all your dirty, dirty secrets

So…you know that site facebook?

You know, the one where you make a profile, put up a goofy pic of yourself, write on your friends’ walls, look up that hottie in your 10 am Stats class, memorize his profile, loudly mention his favorite band nonchalantly while you stand behind him in the lunch line, count how many girls write on his wall daily, find out his relationship status changed from ’single’ to ‘in a relationship’, look up the bitch that stole him, click through her tagged photos obsessively and tell all of your roommates “she must have untagged half of these, she is NOT hot in person”, find out where she lives, write a hostile letter in red sharpie threatening to demolish any wisps of a social life she thinks she has unless she breaks up with your man, then get her expelled from school by replacing her English term paper with a plagiarized one?
You know, facebook.

Well now it’s time to let you in on a secret: Facebook knows all about your creepy stalker activities. Considered a company perk, facebook tracks all your daily facebook behavior; right now they’re probably checking out your list of most-viewed-profiles and laughing/considering dialing in a quick phone call to the police. With a $240 million deal with Microsoft, seems like Big Brother is lurking around the corner, but this perk may prove to be an infringement of privacy.

But worry not, despite the fact that facebook can see into the depths of your dark soul, it’s got some great perks for you. Check out the I Am Green application, which allows you to track your green lifestyle changes and earn points for it. Fun for everyone! Drizzler

If hard work is the measure of success, our latest cyber-celeb has definitely earned her rank, climbing friend-by-friend to the upper echelon of the MySpace elite. With more than 2 million friends on Myspace, Tila Tequila (born Tila Nguyen) is the Vietnamese rapper, singer, model, blogger-actress known by many as the least lonely girl on the Internet.

One thing is for sure, the world is listening (despite feverish attempts to tune out the newest Tequila single “I Love U”- which TIME hilariously calls the sound track of a million parents’ dreams dying). While filming her cameo in the next Adam Sandler flick, posing for Men’s Magazine covers, and starring in the upcoming MTV reality show “A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila” (think VH1’s “I Love New York” but bisexual) we hope she channels some of her hard-earned popularity for the greater, and greener, good.

Maybe she’ll be in the running for hostess of next year’s Environmental Media Awards — a title held this year by The Soup’s Joel McHale– or manage to join the ranks of Sienna Miller, Al Gore, Toyota, and Incubus who won EMA awards at the event. At least the Teqster knows that 2M of her closest friends would be sure to tune in. Kandz

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Normally our gaydar’s spot on, but we did NOT see this one coming

Last Friday, J.K. Rowling outted Hogwarts principal Albus Dumbledore before an audience of avid Potterites at Carnegie Hall.

This groundbreaking news got us thinking about other fictional characters who are probs still in the closet, but are bound to break out now that Dumbledore’s set the precedent. Here’s our short-list:

1. Sam from Lord of the Rings

2. Captain Jack Sparrow

3. Pinnochio

4. Justin Bobby

Dumbledore is officially our favorite fictional activist; in addition to finally making homosexuality acceptable in the wizarding world, we’re betting that the legendary principal is also extremely progressive on the green front, making Hogwarts a sustainable campus, and setting the precedent for other campuses worldwide like Harvard , which is currently working to reduce its overall environmental impact. In the same way that Hogwarts saves energy with floating candles and elf-labor, Harvard’s screwing in new energy-saving bulbs, water-saving showerheads, and committing to green building to do their part.

Props, Dumbledore, props. Drizzler

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Normally our gaydar’s spot on, but we did NOT see this one coming

Last Friday, J.K. Rowling outted Hogwarts principal Albus Dumbledore before an audience of avid Potterites at Carnegie Hall.

This groundbreaking news got us thinking about other fictional characters who are probs still in the closet, but are bound to break out now that Dumbledore’s set the precedent. Here’s our short-list:

1. Sam from Lord of the Rings

2. Captain Jack Sparrow

3. Pinnochio

4. Justin Bobby

Dumbledore is officially our favorite fictional activist; in addition to finally making homosexuality acceptable in the wizarding world, we’re betting that the legendary principal is also extremely progressive on the green front, making Hogwarts a sustainable campus, and setting the precedent for other campuses worldwide like Harvard , which is currently working to reduce its overall environmental impact. In the same way that Hogwarts saves energy with floating candles and elf-labor, Harvard’s screwing in new energy-saving bulbs, water-saving showerheads, and committing to green building to do their part.

Props, Dumbledore, props. Drizzler

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Leo explains along with demonstration why he was still a virge at 17

The fact that Leonardo DiCaprio was still a virgin at 17 has bloggers in a tizzy. In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, director Cameron Crowe revealed that the hormone-driven teenage DiCaprio was obsessed with losing his virginity. Sounds like another teen movie, right? Except, the protagonists in those films never bagged a supermodel, much less two.

Said Crowe, “I’m hoping … he can fill [me] in on what’s happened in between, maybe show some photos. I’m sure life’s different now.” I’ll bet it is.

Now that he’s a sex magnet, Leo has moved on to the maintaining the purity of other things, like the earth . While not acting under Cameron Crowe, he narrates documentaries, most notably The 11th hour that highlight the damage humans inflict on the environment. He also counsels on the evils bottled water (in the documentary, “Water Planet”), tries to fly commercial, and looks like a “real man” in the process. CM

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Leo explains along with demonstration why he was still a virge at 17

The fact that Leonardo DiCaprio was still a virgin at 17 has bloggers in a tizzy. In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, director Cameron Crowe revealed that the hormone-driven teenage DiCaprio was obsessed with losing his virginity. Sounds like another teen movie, right? Except, the protagonists in those films never bagged a supermodel, much less two.

Said Crowe, “I’m hoping … he can fill [me] in on what’s happened in between, maybe show some photos. I’m sure life’s different now.” I’ll bet it is.

Now that he’s a sex magnet, Leo has moved on to the maintaining the purity of other things, like the earth . While not acting under Cameron Crowe, he narrates documentaries, most notably The 11th hour that highlight the damage humans inflict on the environment. He also counsels on the evils bottled water (in the documentary, “Water Planet”), tries to fly commercial, and looks like a “real man” in the process. CM

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