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This video ends with the line, “Conservation doesn’t have to be lame.” Creepy Clip Art Elf sings it and then Downs’ Syndrome Santa repeats it, just to make sure you got it. Well, Conservation doesn’t have to be lame and this video didn’t have to be, either.

Look, we know that this is the season to criticize excessive consumption. Between driving to buy stuff and driving to return stuff (not to mention the stuff), we could all use to take it a little easier on resources around now.

That said, the only thing this video will accomplish is sales for the new Britney Spears album when the dundering beat of its muzak drives viewers to Itunes and they download the first thing that might drown it out.

We dig the message and all, but the only reason to sit through this thing is to see Rudolph nearly drown when Global Warming makes the ice too thin to hold him (we hated that little dweeb in his made-for-tv stop-motion-nonsense, even as kids). Otherwise, thanks, Atom Films, for your email; we wanted to help but this video is singlehandedly setting back the green movement 2 years. –BradyDale

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Did you make it out to the “Christmas in Washington 2007″ concert with President Bush last night? We didn’t either. Actually, we couldn’t find our invitation. We think maybe we lost it. Or maybe they forgot to send one to us? Weird.

The President got to watch a “gem of a performance” when Vanessa Hudgens and Katherine McPhee joined Ne-Yo to preen before a national audience; the show airs on TNT tomorrow night.

All through the taping, we were chilling in the Beanstockd offices hidden in Treasure Island, Earth’s latest eco-friendly urban oasis. We were also trying to work our mind control skills on Hudgy (betting resistance there would be low) to get her to call out POTUS on some of the issues he’s neglected on his watch. Say, for example, all the dead trees he’s left behind since Katrina, which are decaying into the chlorophyll equivalent of climate-changing cow farts and carbon emissions.

Mind control was a failure, but we did subconsciously convince her to pass on “Jingle Bell Rock.” Little victories. –BradyDale

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You know how really hot people (like us) can get away with pretty much anything because their hotness earns them the “as long as” clause? For example: the 10 in your English lecture that sits in the next row over. You would totally hit that as long as he doesn’t speak in public or make eye contact with any of your girl friends. We feel that this universal clause can be aptly applied to the Spiderman super hottie James Franco, featured in an MTV interview for his latest film.

Though the interview argues otherwise, we don’t think that Franco is a social retard. We attribute the glazed over eyes and monosyllabic responses to the simple explanation that pre-filming he indulged in a few organic goodies: most likely a big fat doobie followed by a couple shots of organic Purus Vodka. Occam’s Razor, baby: the simplest explanation is probably true and would also explain Franco’s squinty-face and incessant giggling. Drizzler

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