Where to start with last week’s Tribeca Film Festival?

MK Olsen’s much anticipated film, “The Wackness” premiered. Turns out it’s about youth and hip-hop culture in 1994, and not sex and necrophilia as originally claimed. Dang! Though the concept seems kind of appealing, the tagline “sometimes it’s right to do the wrong things” hands down lives up to the movie’s title.

How about the Tribeca Green Party, which kicked off the entire festival? The soiree was host to an array of guests like Al Gore and Live Earth performers, and featured a well-intentioned yet self-indulgent skit by Robert DeNiro and Jimmy Fallon held in a biodiesel powered venue.

But perhaps the highlight of the night was news that Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon may be boning — which has left a taste in our mouth that is not as sweet as the one brought on by the Ashton-Demi marriage but is thankfully less vomit-inducing than the Ray-J-Whitney atrocity.

All in all, Tribeca brought us its usual flood of breaking insider news…and some movies too of course.

Drizzler

Tufts, Ohio University and Colorado State have recently wisened up. Turning off a computer can save up to $75 per year, which leaves more cash for Spring apparel. Across a whole university, that could be thousands and thousands of dollars. At Tufts, they found that 80% of undergrads aren’t turning off their own computers. Power down, y’all!

After all, now that Facebook’s keeping track of who’s on-line, you don’t want it to look like you got nothing better to do all day.

BradyDale

Hey Beanies,

I hope your Earth Day was as green for you as it was for me.

With Amy Winehouse, it’s hard to tell if she can sink any lower, then she acts a fool and we realize that there is no bottom for her. On Wednesday, the singer went to a pub to play pool and ended up punching a man in the lip and head butting another whose only fault was trying to hail her a cab. Maybe she had too much coke, diet or otherwise? She later showed up to her voluntary police questioning high. Wino also happens to be worth $20 million, making her the 10th richest musician under 30. Go figure.

A month too long to wait for the greatest movie ever made? Catch up with Samantha Jones, aka Kim Cattrall in her latest interview with The Advocate. Homegirl sets the record straight about her beef with Sex and the City’s powers-that-be.

Oh no she didn’t! Miley Cyrus pulls a Vanessa Hudgens! Kind of. Billy Ray’s daughter follows in her Disney sister’s nudie footsteps, albeit in a much classier, non-cameraphone way. A shot of her clad in nothing but a bed sheet by Annie Leibovitz will appear in the June issue of Vanity Fair. The red-blooded American uproar was loud, but it probably won’t do much to hurt the star’s image. After all, Hudgy Bear got to keep her job. Disney loves chastity, but not as much as money.

Finally, since everyday is Earth Day around here, how will the food crisis affect going green? Ethanol has always been presented as a viable alternative to gas, but with food hard to find, using corn to run cars while people are starving doesn’t look good—it’s enormous carbon footprint notwithstanding. Many leaders, including Texas governor Rick Perry, think the US should start rolling back its ethanol policies.

On Friday morning, news of a Rumer Willis/Chace Crawford hook-up spread like a SoCal wildfire. The Hapsburg-jawed daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore was seen with JC Chasez’s “wingman” prancing sprightly from one NYC night spot to the next—leaving Beanstockd’s female staffers slack-jawed and reaching for the bottle. Thankfully, on Friday afternoon, Crawford’s people moved swiftly to dispel any notion of a coupling.

A true Rumer Willis coupling is her new gig with Wal-Mart. Along with Wilmer Valderrama and a host of C-listers, she’s hawking Ocean Pacific beachwear for the discount retailer. Low expectations much? Rumer Willis is not a legit celeb and the last time we saw Wilmer Valderrama he was in “Fast Food Nation,” the movie based on the locavore-lauded novel of the same name. The movie examines the evolution of the fast food industry and its adverse affect on many topics including the environment. If you haven’t seen the movie, Wilmer falls feet first into a ginormous meat grinder at the end.

Bacon Bits

FHM’s annual readers’ poll has named Megan Fox the sexiest woman alive. We can’t really argue. Everyone should look that good in a tank-top when they save the world. The 21-year old co-starred alongside Shia LeBoeuf in 2007’s Transformers. Few other actresses could compete with Michael Bay’s cgi-generated eye-candy in that film. Some of Hollywood’s loveliest would go unnoticed alongside Hummer’s turning into giant battling androids, but no one could ignore Megan Fox.

Our world is a long way from enjoying the many benefits of a car that can turn into a humanoid bodyguard, but here in the States we’re a little closer to getting access to a commuter car that protects the atmosphere. Internal Combustion Engines will always be dirty, no matter how efficient we build them, but when the Th!nk City Electric Car comes to the US in 2009, many people will be able to drive cleaner. If you live in a region using hydro or nuclear power, your car will run emissions free from day one.

 Your Th!nk will be able to run on anything we can turn into electricity, so, as more cities get access to renewable energy, lots of people will be able to drive around town smoglessly. Would we still prefer it if our Th!nk turned into Bumblebee? Of course, but we’ll take it.

BradyDale

We Americans think that there’s us, and then there’s the rest of the world, and what’s going on with them doesn’t have a whole heckuva lot of bearing on us. However, at the rate things are going, it’s not going to be long before shiznit hits the fan.

Rice, which we think of mainly as a good side to our Chinese take-out, is a main staple for much of the world. Malaysia, Indonesia, Haiti, Kenya, Cambodia–even Australia (hardly a third-world country)– are just a few of the countries that food shortages are hitting first. The insanely high–and still rising!–cost of fuel, even biofuel (which has been hailed by some, including us, as a viable alternative to our oil predicament), the crazy weather, and the middle classes in such highly populated countries as India and China, who think rich diets and expensive gas-guzzling cars are a good way to distinguish themselves from the peasants, are all contributing factors to crop shortages.

Also, confusingly, Europe’s going back to coal! Their reasons for doing so? It’s cheaper, there are more reserves of it, and coal isn’t limited to a few disgusting monopolies the way oil is. 50 or so coal plants are projected to be operating within the next five years, with no hope of disappearing anytime soon. In the best-case scenario (high-grade coal and quality machinery that traps soot, sulfur dioxide, and nitrous oxide), coal still produces over twice as much carbon dioxide per electricity unit as natural gas.

So take a deep breath and savor that delicious food and clean air while you still can. You might not be able to afford it soon.

Next week our favorite magazine profiles our favorite show. Gossip Girl is back on the air and steaming up the cover of NYMag.

This season it’s clear that the show is about one thing and one thing only. Still not sure what it is? Watch the OMFG preview — let’s just say subtlety is not its forte.

Unfortunately, last night’s episode did not live up to the pervy expectations the previews planted in our easily excitable minds. Instead of backseat boning and threesomes, we got kleptomania, drug scandals and shout outs to Socialista — which ain’t too bad either.

What made us forgive GG for the false advertising was the spectacular Blair-Jenny showdown — we don’t even know where to put our money in this battle. With Jenny pulling the ex-boyfriend card and dipping into the yogurt-for-lunch-lifestyle, she’s ready to dominate and will perhaps introduce her rexy girl crew to a new fad, the Low Carbon Diet.

The season has kicked off, and with a line like: “I have a table at Butter. Reservations under Waldorf…in case there’s an afterparty” — looks like we’re in for another few weeks of sweet sweet OMFG action.

Drizzler

LA is one of the premier places to live. Stunning mansions, beautiful people, year-round tans, and the chance to run into movie stars at every turn. Obviously, the place to be.

One minor downside to this glam life, however, is the whole death thing. That’s right, we said it. LA’s Million Trees Initiative notwithstanding, the National Academy of Sciences has now come out with indisputable studies establishing a link between smog inhalation and “premature death.” Bummer!

It makes sense, though. Cigarettes are bad. Exhaust is bad. Multiply those things times almost 4 million (or whatever percentage of the residents engaging in these lifestyle choices), breathe it in every day, and of course it’s going to have an effect. The elderly, children, and those with existing lung conditions are more vulnerable, but even short-term exposure for healthy people can result, potentially, in death.

Those of us here at Beanstockd are ALL ABOUT situating ourselves for celeb sightings and getting down with good ol’ fashioned debauchery. Trust us, we got no probs with the City of Angels, but we’re also big fans of stayin’ alive. All we’re saying is: choose your stomping grounds wisely, party people.

Greetings Beanies,

Hope your weekend was as hedonistic as mine.

But maybe not as libertine as CNN reporter Richard Quest’s. He was picked up by the cops in Central Park this weekend with a rope around his neck and genitals with crystal meth in his pocket and a dildo in his boot. The police released him after he spent the day in jail.

Rapper Foxy Brown also got out of the clink this week, though her stay was a little longer than Quest’s. Manicurists beware.

On a whole ‘nother level of crazy… Yale girl, did she or didn’t she artificially inseminate herself and induce abortion repeatedly over the course of 9 months and then film the entire thing for her thesis? Yale claims senior Aliza Shvarts did it for shock value and to get a rise out of the media, but she says it was no hoax. While she used herbal abortifacients, the stunt just seems dangerous, wasteful and spiteful. Our question is, who the heck was her thesis advisor and why did they think that this was an okay idea on any level?

She’d certainly get a rise out of Warren Jeffs’ polygamist sect, the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints. The young female members were sperminated by older members. Tipped off by a 16 year old victim, police raided the compound in Texas last Friday, removing women and over 400 children.

The Old Gray Lady goes green and asks: Why bother? Because it’s a Deadly Sin not to!

Although Pope Benedict XVI ended his U.S. visit in New York with a mass at Yankee stadium in the Bronx—causing Boston Catholics to die a little inside—even the most ardent Red Sox fans should rejoice. Not only did the Pope designate environmental pollution as a new Deadly Sin, but he’s the greenest pope ever, planting trees in Hungary to offset the Vatican’s carbon footprint, and exhorting the UN to take international action to preserve the environment.

Happy Earth Day!

From his weekly pulpit on TNT’s Inside the NBA, Charles Barkley sounds off unapologetically on much more than basketball—race, gambling and politics are among his favorite topics.

While the idea of Charles Barkley as governor of Alabama has been a point of jest for years, his comments on Wednesday’s Tonight Show seem to indicate a true desire for his home state’s highest office. When asked by Jay Leno about his future in politics, he responded “Alabama needs my help. It’s like 1977 there.” He’d like to get his feet wet as mayor of his hometown of Leeds before running for governor.

With his outspoken and honest style, Barkley might be exactly what Alabama needs. A recent Forbes study listed Alabama as the 48th greenest state in the union. And last month, Alabama’s environmental commission claimed their director “significantly exceeds expectations,” despite being, as The Birmingham News says, “a disappointment in so many ways.” For some reason, we don’t see Charles giving out any gentleman’s C’s.

Bacon Bits