This weekend, Beanstockd hit the Philly sweetspots Standard Tap and Johnny Brenda’s on the eve of its annual Tattoo Convention. The question of the week was:

“What do you think Cameron Diaz or Leonardo Dicaprio, environmentally conscious celebs, would tattoo on you — and where would it be on your body?”

“A small kokopelli on my shoulder.”

“A recycling symbol…on my ass.”

“A Celtic cross on my shoulder, but only if Leo does it.”

“I actually really want a tattoo so this is a tough decision. A leaf on my forearm.”

“A globe right here. It would say ‘home sweet home’.”

This week, Beanstockd’s version of Anna Wintour dug deep into her pockets and dispatched us to Hollywood to report on the tragically hip and sensibly green. What did we find? Spencer, Heidi and traffic.

There we were, dining at famed Hills taqueria, Don Antonio’s, when over our shoulder we heard two familiar yet revolting voices. When we turned around, what we saw nearly made us spit-take our Dos Equis: Spencer Pratt getting a fajita facial and a cosmetically enhanced Heidi Montag nose deep in a chimichanga. He legitimately looks like an albino sasquatch and she was actually quite hot—but silicone and a rhinoplasty have a way of doing that for a girl. Her four trips to the bathroom probably didn’t hurt, either.

In the Beanstockd lexicon of celebrity sightings this is basically as good as it gets (we’d have morphed into a squealing tween for Justin Bobby), but one question has been keeping us up at night: Can Heidi see Spencer? The answer is no. The smog that envelops Los Angeles on a daily basis greatly reduces visibility, so the hazy visage of the man-sized yeti before her is probably appealing to her feeble brain. It’s great that California is the forerunning state of America’s Green Revolution, but it needs to be. If the smog clears up, Spencer—and all the thriving L.A. tools with hot girlfriends—might not be so happy.

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