If only.

Below is our attempt to employ our laser read-between-the-lines-ability when it comes to deciphering the President’s latest doublespeak. Bush sort of talked about curbing greenhouse gas emissions by 2025 without endangering the economy (Guess he didn’t get the memo about the recession, those handy economic stimuli checks notwithstanding). What we got out of his speech was that he’s not a fan of those nasty rules and regs (like the Clean Air Act and the Kyoto Protocol), saying they’re misinterpreted and misapplied, and he doesn’t want to make any rash decisions.

We totally agree. We don’t want to be forced to do anything we don’t want to do. Rules are just a big bummer anyway.

No mandatory limits! No caps ‘n’ trades! No “drastic emissions cuts!” Just vague generalities. You can read them for yourself here. Did we really expect anything else?

Nail technicians of the world beware! Foxy Brown will be on the loose again next week. If she starts fiddling with her cell-phone and squinting, watch out! She might be getting ready to swing it at you.

Then again, she might have learned her lesson. Her manager, Chaz Williams, said that her stay in the Big House was not quite so nice as the one Paris got treated to:

She did every single minute of her bid in jail, and she did it under the most severe conditions. They had her on continuous lockdown just because she is a celebrity. They were trying to break her spirit.

Maybe someone should just get Foxy a softer celly, to be on the safe side? The next big green gadget might just be the Bamboo Cell Phone. By designer Gert-Jan van Breugel, not only are the phones biodegradable, but seeds built into the phone body will turn into real bamboo once you’ve thrown them out. Not sure what good that will do on the homeless garbage barge ours are sure to end up on, but it sounds nice.

BradyDale

Today’s Barbie recycles. No, of course not as a lifestyle! In limited edition doses.

We know we’re in trouble when Barbie starts waking up and smelling the dying flowers. We thought all she did was ride blithely around in the Jeep with Ken sporting one-time-use only glamfits and banging neuter torsos. It appears we were wrong…at least, about the one-time-use only.

Earth Day Barbie is rocking repurposed patchwork-y accessories. According to Dick Dickson (yes, that’s really his name), Senior VP of Marketing at Mattel, Barbie, as usual, is reflecting current cultural trends (read: “eco-consciousness”). Get oooonnnn the bandwagon!

If Barbie will encourage little girls to save the world through recyled clothes and the ilk, we are ALL for it. It’s certainly better than boob jobs, prison and anorexia. Looks like 50 years have taught Barbie a thing or two.