Unfortunately, when we usually speak of massive floating sh*t in the sea, we’re referring to the gazillion particles of plastic that have accumulated into a swirling vortex of trash that’s twice the size of Texas. The North Pacific gyre currents have accumulated plastic waste from land and sea dumps creating “The Great Pacific Garbage Patch,” though we see nothing Great about it. While we humans are busy thinking up innovative ways to solve the climate crisis from land, fishes and sea dwellers have made these plastics a part of both their diet and their terribly altered habitats.

One new idea for alternative energy, miles-wide solar islands, is being explored for generating energy out at sea and bringing it back to land at relatively low costs. Because the panels float on water, their tilt is easily manipulated, optimizing solar exposure. This solar concept is popping up on smaller scales internationally, from Glasgow’s River Clyde’s giant lily pads to a Napa winery’s solar flotilla. But human intervention will also alter the natural underwater ecosystems, especially the giant islands in the ocean that will block the sunlight from the carbon-eating, oxygen-producing, photosynthesizing phytoplanktons. And all the little Nemo’s that eat them.

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Oprah has endured a lot on her way to becoming America’s premier female media mogul: marathons, dieting, her dogs’ deaths, dieting, makeovers, Tom Cruise sullying her sofa and dieting. Now, the Big “O” has taken on a new challenge: temporary vegan-hood (sounds kinda like. . . dieting—with wonderfully humane side effects). “Quantum Wellness” has inspired a 21-day cleanse facilitated by self-help and spirituality writer, Kathy Freston (whose other personalities include wife to the CEO of Viacom and Huff Post vegetarian contributor) and personal chef, Tal.

As fellow part-time vegetarian Ben Franklin once said, “My refusing to eat meat occasioned upon inconveniency.” It certainly would be easier if we all had a Tal, but these days, going veg is one of the best things you can personally do for the planet.

With her huge following turned on to her latest bookclub book, “A Good Earth,” which offers optimism and calls for awakening to a new consciousness, humanity (Oprah viewers) may finally be redeemed. Maybe next she can read Bottlemania, and inspire America to quit their plastic addiction.

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Individuality is great and all, but when Australia’s new prime minister took power, America was left as the only major industrialized nation that hadn’t signed the carbon-curbing Kyoto Protocol. There’s still hope though. The Senate is considering a bill that will reduce global warming emissions by 66% by 2050. Believe it or not, the bill was put forward by a Republican and an Independent (John Warner R-Virginia and Joe Lieberman, Big Green Al’s old running mate who is now an Independent from Connecticut). Some are whining that this would cost more than all of the wonderful goods in the new SATC movie, despite the utilities rebate program and tax relief intended to downplay the economic impact of the bill.

IK

Beanies,

Sex and the City debuted at Radio City Music Hall in New York and it was cutthroat. Too many people showed up (8,000 tickets, 6,000 seats). Epic meltdowns ensued.

There were real tragedies. Famed director Sydney Pollack died this week at 73, and an actor in the upcoming Harry Potter movie was stabbed to death, while trying to protect his brother.

Child obesity rates have slowed down, after rising for 25 years. That’s great news! If American kids are eating less, does that mean the end of the food crisis and stabilized global warming rates? Could our future as a planet be assured? The Senate is looking at a bill that will cut emissions rates by 66% by 2050, so it just might be possible!

No marriages…except for Jessica Alba’s shotgun wedding to Cash Warren! Sorry, couldn’t help myself!

Finally, in light of this Miley Cyrus Dance-Off Challenge, we want to see Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick in a green-off challenge! (We were gonna tell Man-Bangs and Efron to style-off, but all that hairspray, makeup and guyliner would probs triple the size of the hole in the ozone.)

Kate Beckinsale seems to have found her place as the striking star with a believable killing streak. Three Underworld movies, Van Helsing and maybe, someday, Catwoman?

The girl likes violence, so, next up: “Whiteout” opening in September. Beckinsale spoke about it all the way back at Comic Con 2007, but only now has Warner Bros. hinted at a release date. Why? Could it be because Warner Bros. President Jeff Robinov has said his company is out of the female-fronted-movie business?

In “Whiteout,” Beckinsale plays a US Marshall who has to solve a murder in Antarctica before 6 months of darkness sets in. Fortunately, it doesn’t stay dark nearly that long in most of the rest of the world, and that’s why you may one day be able to extend the battery life of your Ipods and laptops by taking them outside. Apple’s been caught submitting patents for solar panels that can collect power from behind an LCD screen?

Of course, the tech sounds tricky and mirrors an old Motorola project, so it could be an empty ploy to get the public buzzing about Apple again now that the iPhone’s died down. And hey, maybe Robinov just wanted to grab some headlines with his comment about female leads, too? We hope so. We could handle seeing this woman play Wonder Woman.

BradyDale

The Exit rocks out at the GreenOwl Get Down.

Check out The Exit, a band on the GreenOwl Label, which recycles the influences of Muse, the Beatles, and the Clash (and the packing for its cds). These blokes have also teamed up with Live Earth, a worldwide series of green concerts featuring Kanye West, Kelly Clarkson and Jack Johnson, among others. But GreenOwl works on a tree-by-tree level too, allowing you to calculate your own carbon footprint and find the nearest source of biofuel on its site. Finally. An organization that actually gives a hoot about slammin’ music without slamming the environment.

IK

While she gets some negligible cool points for choosing to come out with an album of Tom Waits covers, ScarJo’s entry of “Falling Down” into the music-video-by-actor genre won’t quite win her “Worst of…” fame, though it’s preciousness brings it very close (oh, is that Salman Rushdie with you Scarlett? We’re very impressed—really). After all, it will be hard to top the badness of that thing Eddie Murphy did in the 80s. Still, when we think of actresses that remind us of the gritty, burnt out, ragged singer-songwriter that is Tom Waits, we don’t think of the lovely Ms. Johansson. The Jonas Bros would get mild cool points, too, if they did an album of Dylan covers, but that doesn’t mean they should.

And we’re not quite sure Johansson should have made her new recording, either, and maybe that’s why she’s decided not to tour to promote her album, Anywhere I Lay My Head. Or maybe rising gas prices had something to do with it? Lots of acts are trying to economize and green up their tours these days. Studio 360 even did a segment on acts that are going more eco-conscious [mp3 here]. A whole consultancy, called MusicMatters, has opened up to help rockers figure out how to make green happen when they go on the road.

But, could ScarJo have hit on the greenest tour strategy yet? Just nix it.

BradyDale

Dusting off our seersucker and whites, we attended a barbeque this weekend that will be remembered more for its quirky guests than its organic fare. These functions always bring together a hodge podge of stereotypes and this one was no different—except it included a grown child actor.

We met Little Pete! Danny Tamberelli played the mischievous younger half of a pair of brothers with the same name on Nickelodeon’s The Adventures of Pete & Pete. We were always more Nickelodeon than Disney Channel, so it was kind of a big deal, and since you’re asking, we definitely do not have any dirt.

Okay, here’s some. There’s green and then there’s green. There was organic pasta salad made with local ingredients by a Chinese woman who clearly married her wheelchair-bound husband with multiple sclerosis (can you only get it once?) to get her green card. Anyway, everything was great…until we heard a shriek followed by sobbing followed by a hipster broad dashing madly to the bathroom. Turns out, she was a vegan that went berserk and made herself puke when she found out the pasta contained free range…

Bacon Bits

PS: If you recall, Michelle Trachtenberg played Little Pete’s bff Nona.

People’s Most Beautiful cover girl, Kate Hudson, was hangin’ with Lance Armstrong and his kids in Austin this past weekend; which is a thankfully less weird pairing than the Ashley Olsen fling– at least we’ve seen Kate on a bike before (albeit for flirting not for function).

While Lance’s Livestrong foundation constantly inspires millions with and without cancer to unite and fight it, Ms. Hudson is becoming her own hero for humanity. Teaming up with celebrity hairstylist David Babaii, the two created a new eco-friendly haircare line that will donate 10% of sales to WildAid- a group promising to protect endangered wildlife from poaching, AND educate and support the communities that count on poaching for their livelihood.

The products are free of sulfates, parabens, petroleum, and cruelty-tested on Kate. Not on animals. Despite the Volcanic Ash Root Amplifier (coming soon!) which sounds more like a hydroponic product than a styling tool, the haircare has many appealing, exotic ingredients like Amazonian cupuacu butter and blue algae extract.

We doubt this duo will date longer than it takes to get our Bohemian Beach Spray delivered, but assuming consumers who care about shiny hair are also active Americans who boldly live *strong*, they may have some support.

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Does ordering that venti iced skim chocolate and strawberries mochaccino with about a pound of whipped cream on top make you feel guilty? Not anymore! Starbucks is introducing reusable ceramic cups for all of its in-house orders, and if you’re getting it to-go, you’re perfectly welcome to bring your own mug in. Unless you’re Lou Pearlman, the tubby pederast behind *NSYNC and Backstreet, whose mug shot will be gracing Florida records for the rest of this world’s existence – which, hopefully, will now last a little longer. But no guarantees on your health or any guilt you might have about that.

IK