Lindsay Lohan’s gal pal Samantha Ronson got a punky skunky haircut! It’s cute, but maybe a tiny bit reminiscent of Pepe Le Pew—and it also matches Lindsay’s outfit…hmmm. We’re not saying her skunk-esque haircut stinks, but did you know that dirty hair can help the environment? Yeah. Seriously. Apparently, dirty human hair can help neutralize the ozone. Wutttttt?! Researchers at Missouri University of Science and Technology did a study on washed and unwashed hair, which revealed that the molecules found in hair and body oil latch onto ozone molecules and destroy them! Looks like the hippies had it right all along.

Jen

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Stephenie Meyer’s final novel in the Twilight saga is due out at 12am on August 2nd. Compared to the release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by Entertainment Weekly, local bookstores have planned parties for fans to attend the evening of Friday, August 1st that culminate in the selling of book #4, Breaking Dawn. Fans being able to pick up their books at midnight not only means instant gratification (and a sleepless night), it also means bypassing packing materials that might not have been recycled if people had bought their books through online book sellers.

But, seriously, as important as Harry Potter? While I whole-heartedly enjoy Meyer’s storytelling (how can you go wrong with a juicy romantic triangle?), does that truly beat J.K. Rowling’s 7-book-epic of good versus evil? Just comparing the first books in both series demonstrates a gap in scope. In Twilight, Meyer introduces us to the protagonists – Edward and Bella – and spends 200 pages having them make googly eyes at each other. Then, at the very end, shamelessly drops in a baddie whose set-up has to be rushed through. Whereas, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone sets up an entire new world that keeps the plot moving at a steady pace, so the climax doesn’t feel forced.

Now that’s not to say that I won’t be at a bookstore at midnight, but no one messes with my boy wizard.

LD

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The always-outspoken Kathy Griffin recently confessed to being “off the junk, as I call it, for five years." The D-list star isn’t talking about any Amy-Winehouse-esque escapades. She’s referring to her plastic surgery habit that she kicked to the curb despite Hollywood’s constant pressure to look young and beautiful. Griffin’s newfound self-confidence should keep her healthier (putting poisons under your skin never seems like a bright idea) and using cruelty-free beauty products that are 100% plant-based (not petroleum based), like Max Green Alchemy, does a little to wean us off our oil dependency.

Griffin’s resolution to avoid becoming a human Barbie doll isn’t shared by many aging actresses, just check out the trailer for The Women.

LD

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Amy Winehouse’s dad thinks someone spiked her drink. Come on, Mitch. Have you been smoking crack? Amy was rushed to the hospital Monday night after dear old daddy found her convulsing. Mitch has filed his suspicions with the police, claiming someone put Ecstasy in her drink, and that the toxicology reports will prove it.

After Amy was released the next day, she was seen sprinting into her house, most likely to relax with her favorite junk food of choice: a Big Mac and fries. Was Amy’s Big Mac wrapped in recyclable packaging? No—Miss Winehouse can’t be bothered with such things. She’s too busy dreaming about how to spring her “Blake Incarcerated” from jail. But a burger chain in the Pacific Northwest of the United States is on the chase. We suggest that the next time Amy comes west (that is, if she’s even allowed to do so, since we all know she’s been denied a visa in the past!) she satisfy her cravings at Burgerville, who plans to keep 85% of its waste out of the waste stream via recycling, source reduction and composting. This way, she can chow down and save the Earth simultaneously. Let’s all chew on that.

Sarah

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We don’t normally write about people on Beanstockd if they could have legally bought us beer when we were in middle school, and this guy, T. Boone Pickens, could have bought our dads beer when they were in middle school. Pickens is 80. He’s worth $4 Billion. He made his fortune in the oil business.

And he wants us to shift to wind power. Big. He says we’re running out of oil and we’re all screwed if we don’t cut the crap with the black stuff. Repeat: this is an oil man.

This guy is no long-haired hippy freak. He played basketball at Texas A&M before there even were hippies! He says that alternative energy isn’t going to come along soon enough to completely eliminate fossil fuels. So, he wants us to buy time by building more windfarms up and down the Midwest to run homes and businesses and use the natural gas we save to run our cars and trucks. Could it work?

Well, did you know the USA has more wind than almost anyone else? Check it out. Pickens has made a retro video about his plan. He just uses a white board rather than a Power Point, like Al Gore, ‘cuz, y’know… he’s an old guy. They’re bad with computers.

BradyDale

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Step 1: The ever communicative wife should file for divorce after 23 years of marriage and not tell her husband that he’s on the outs.

Step 2: The befuddled soon-to-be-ex-husband should take it upon himself to retaliate against his wife by dating someone ½ her age (bonus points if he dates one of his teenage daughter’s friends).

Step 3: The completely humiliated daughter should publicly feud with her father for dating her friend (because this will somehow lessen the embarrassment).

Step 4: The ex-wife, not be outdone by her ex-husband, should start dating one of her daughter’s classmates.

Step 5: All members of the family should continue to maintain their trademark shade of blonde, so the paparazzi can easily spot them in a crowd. However, organic hair dye like Morrocco Method is recommended to lessen the impact on the atmosphere. Also, theoretically, less exposure to ammonia and peroxide fumes may increase family’s brain activity.

LD

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Former Disney tween star has to miss shooting new movie for about a month due to a drunk driving collision. No, it’s not Lindsay Lohan. Shia LeBeouf drove drunk and crashed his truck this past Sunday and managed to injure his hand, which may throw off shooting for the new "Transformers" movie. Too bad he wasn’t driving Optimus Prime—that Bumblebee seems like a bad influence. And, we can’t image they’re still burning fossil fuels on the planet Cybertron.

However, La Lohan was rushed to the hospital as well this weekend after a motorcycle nearly hit her. But she was walking, not driving…so that’s more legitimate (and greener). Or maybe she wasn’t, it’s not clear: her dad says that his daughter got hit, but is okay. However, Lindsay’s publicist claims that the alleged accident didn’t happen.

Johnny Depp, Jude Law and Colin Farrell step in to finish Heath Ledger’s last movie role, "The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus."

Terrorists detonated two bombs in Istanbul, killing 16 and wounding 154 people. The attacks come right before a meeting of Turkey’s constitutional court, which was due to penalize the government for trying to enforce Sharia law. So far no one has claimed responsibility for the attacks.

Christian Siriano does not have Posh’s cell in his phone. He does however have all of her assistants numbers programmed in there. Also, the word "girlicious" is a hot, tranny mess. Ferocia Coutura does not approve. Is it too late to add a catchphrase event to the Beijing Olympics? The Chinese government says the skies are clearing up, so we can hear the athletes talking, without them hacking up a lung.

PS: the nerd dwelling deep inside of me wishes that I had made it to Comic-Con this past weekend. There are 42 comic book/superhero films in production right now, and most of the casts made it to the convention in San Diego this weekend. Oh well, Spain will have to do.

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Shia LaBeouf flipped his big ol’ Ford truck at 3am Sunday morning! He was busted (then released) for a DUI misdemeanor after he collided with another vehicle in West Hollywood. Passengers in the other car had minor injuries, and Shia was taken to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center for treatment on his left hand, knee, and a minor head injury. This  is not Shia’s first brush with the law—he was booked for trespassing at a Chicago Walgreen’s in 2007, but this is his first driving offense.

Now that he’s totaled his ride, might we suggest that Shia look into a greener vehicle like, say, the new zero-emission Honda FCX Clarity? According to the Honda website, "Water is the only byproduct the FCX Clarity leaves behind" because of new technology that combines hydrogen and oxygen to power the car electrically. The much-hyped Clarity hits the streets this summer, but only to a very select group of pre-selected users e.g. Hollywood celebs like Jamie Lee Curtis. Maybe Shia can finagle a new eco-friendly ride, too, since he has so totally smashed his toy "Transformers" style.

Jen

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Since industrial hemp is still banned in the US, it’s fallen to our friends across the pond to use it to change the world. Brit-based Lotus Cars presented the Eco Elise at the British International Motor Show, a sports car mostly made out of hemp. Lotus is attacking the environmentally-damaging manufacturing process of cars, instead of just fuel emissions, with wool and sisal carpets, water-based paints, and local materials. But the dashboard will also tell you how to maximize your fuel economy and minimize your carbon emissions. These dashboard confessionals might even be better than Chris Carrabba’s new album in the fall.

IK

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If you’ve been anywhere near a bus stop or a subway station recently you’ve seen these provocative Gossip Girl ads. After the success of their spring ‘OMFG!’ campaign, The CW is cutting right to the chase by flaunting the show’s criticism in an appeal to our more rebellious and primal sides.

Since mass transit is a Beanstockd term of employment, we have seen said ads and we have a message for all the clever "subway artists" out there. QUIT DEFACING THESE ADS! We don’t know who put you in charge of the subway beautification committee, but we’re old school green and we say littering and vandalizing are gateway climate changers. What’s next, a bonfire at the tire factory? Giving Blake Lively a Hitler-stache is not funny. Giving Chace Crawford extra nipples: not funny. An erect phallus with "Drink My Love Juice" written on it pointed at Chuck Bass’ mouth…okay, that one was funny.

Bacon Bits

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