Biden’s out of the bag (no more "C-2" for him!), but we’ve still got a few days until McCain gives up his goods. Meanwhile, we’ve got Hill and Bill speaking at the Democratic Convention this week pretending that they like Obama.

Unified fronts are rare in the world of politics. Dems and Repubs are risking a government shutdown on Oct. 1, which they’re calling "Energy Freedom Day." If the Dems try to attach the current ban on offshore drilling to spending bills (so that the ban is extended), the Repubs will oppose it–and shut down the entire government. At least the government would be conserving energy.

No unified fronts on the international scene either. President Bush is working on a deal with India that would establish a cooperative relationship in the research and development of nuclear power. Without nuclear power, India is stuck in the stone age of coal power. Too bad Congress and India can’t agree on anything.

We’d like to stone coal power, but looks like we can’t get rid of it either. Coal companies are going all out at both the Democratic and Republican National Conventions to lobby for subsidies that would promote the reduction of coal’s carbon footprint. Clean coal? The idea makes us feel all ashy.

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In an effort to boost ratings, Fox is adding a new judge no one’s heard of to American Idol.

To be fair, new judge and successful songwriter Kara DioGuardi has worked with dozens of famous artists, such as Pink and Carrie Underwood. Oh. And also Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton. Which should either make her a fantastic judge of talent or a terrible one.

But if Fox really wanted to get us watching again (we honestly stopped after people started bombing on purpose so they could get on the crazy reel) they could have an Environmental Song Week.

Or, at least, stop going so over-the-top with all those lights. We mean, c’mon, we don’t need to burn an entire coal mine so we add strobe effects to a cover of "Imagine."

MD

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Keeping up with Kim Kardashian will be even easier considering that she just injured her foot a little less than a month before her September 22nd debut on Dancing with the Stars. According to Us Magazine, Kim sustained her injury by pushing away a broken "mirrored, Venetian little desk" with her foot.

As Kim reduces her feet to shreds, 7 out of 10 Americans are reducing their carbon footprints as a reaction to the high gasoline prices. Since feet, in addition to public transit, are becoming more popular modes of transportation, Kim should be friendly to her footsies. Though Kardashian’s brilliant decision to combine bare feet and broken glass has us eagerly looking forward to this new season of DWTS and the many varieties of hijinks (and calculated sympathetic injuries) that could be in store. Maybe she’ll literally walk over some hot coals while the judges rake her over them.

LD

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