Britney, Britney, Britney. What a rollercoaster it’s been. This time a year ago, we were lamenting the loss of her sanity and reminiscing about the “Hit Me Baby One More Time” days. Ah, how far she has come!

On Sunday, the MTV documentary “For the Record” premieres, and we’ll be sitting front row (in our living room) cheering BritBrit on. She is also on the cover of December’s Rolling Stone and looks F-A-B fabulous! Her smile is almost identical to the smile we remember from old-time Britney, her body is slammin’ and the new album is off the charts awesome. We appreciate that she’s going back to what she does best: pop music that’s so catchy even the haters can’t help but sing along.

We keep hearing rumors of an upcoming tour, and we’d like to request front row seats to the show that is certain to sell-out at Madison Square Garden. We’ll even take Britney to see a performance on the Great White Way in exchange, which, if you haven’t heard, is going green! That’s right, within the next year, NYC will be greening Broadway with everything from new policies to ultra eco-friendly lightbulbs. So, Britney, give us a call. We promise we’re almost as fun as you are.

Sarah

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Happy Thanksgiving, Beanstockd! The turkey’s roasting and the little ones are still adorable (and obedient!), so we’ll make this quick, because you can’t get this kind of personalized service even at the Four Seasons!

My attempts at suggesting conservational cooking methods, like roasting more than one thing in the oven at once, were met with a pinch on the cheek and twenty questions about my love life. Ah, the women in my family—the older I get, the more they stay the same. So far, no attempts at arranging a marriage for me, but we still have three days to go.

Did everybody enjoy their impromptu high school reunions last night? It’s good to know a lot of my homies haven’t changed…save for the larger midsections and the onset of male pattern baldness. But I digress, love you guys to pieces!

Don’t read the paper today. As citizens of the world, we were disheartened to read about the coordinated terrorist attacks in India’s capital city of Mumbai. Luxury hotels and foreign nationals were targeted and the numbers continue to climb. (You know what numbers I’m talking about.) The details are coming in slowly, but so far, all reports indicate that the people behind the violence are not tied to Al Qaeda. Like it matters.

The editorial page had even more great news. The global financial crisis is causing some governments to back away from their lofty emissions goals. They’re saying that it’s more important to save their economies than the planet. We agree to a point, but isn’t it all tied together anyway? So much for vigilance in difficult times. Hope you’re listening Barack.

Okay, y’all, enough of the doom and gloom; it’s Thanksgiving and the house smells unbelievable! Time for me to get back to football and subservient rugrats. Is it just me, or does Dora the Explorer not rhyme?

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I was really excited when I first found out that Florida was planning on buying out U.S. Sugar Corp. and restoring the company’s lands to the Everglades. Yay, the states care! But now I might need to find something else to be thankful for this week. Lawrence Group, a Tennessee farming company, has offered $300 per company share—something that is supposedly “far superior” to Florida’s offer. The company also claims that it will attempt to fulfill the same environmental goals, except with less land. But, but…

Well, I commend Florida for hanging in there. Rhode Island was also attacked for its attempts at eco-friendliness. General Motors, Chrysler and two manufacturers associations tried to sue the state for setting emissions standards that would force them to come up with a way to reduce emissions by a third in new cars by 2016. Good thing the feds stepped in and told the manufacturers that the suit was absolutely ricockulous.

Meanwhile, if we go back down south (further than Florida actually) and head to Brazil, we can see some more government support of the environment. Environmental officials attempted to block logging inside an Indian reservation, but ended up instigating a mob attack because of angry Brazilians that rely on logging for incomes.

So far it looks like it’s all quiet on our front regarding President-elect Obama’s Cabinet choices. It seems like Secretary of Defense Robert Gates will continue to serve—except this time, he’ll be working with a new Secretary of State. Hillary Clinton?! What the heck happened to the Senate? Let’s be thankful it isn’t Bill.

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Hello my little fingerling potatoes, your favorite planet loving celebrity gossip site has been nominated for a We Media ‘Game Changer Award.’ To help us fight global warming we need your vote.

Click here for details and to vote for Beanstockd!

Here’s what some of our more famous readers said:

Kim Kardashian: “Oh, Reggie (Bush) and I just love Beanstockd! The post they wrote about me coming down with the vapors was soooo funny! And I never laughed as hard as when they said my injured toe was ‘nothing an 8-ball and forty couldn’t fix.’ So true!”

David and Victoria Beckham: “Hello guv’na, we quite enjoy a quick romp on the Beanstockd. It’s quite amusing and so responsible! We’d certainly allow Miss IK to babysit our three boys. Carry on.”

Miley Cyrus and the Jonas Brothers: “We wanted to dance battle the Beanstockd crew on YouTube, but that would have been a bad move. They never would have stopped chanting ‘You got served!’ Even if they lost!”

Jay-Z and Beyonce: “Greenhorne had such wonderful things to say about our wedding! We should have invited her!”

Bacon Bits

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“Excuse me, Sir, I think you dropped your tranny.” Said the polite Beanstockr to the driver as his Greyhound bus struggled up a relatively moderate incline. Yes, I took the bus home for Thanksgiving and yes, the noises coming from its transmission were at times ghastly.

Have you been reading about those crazy Somali pirates that have been terrorizing the waters off the coast of eastern Africa? They typically prey on fishing boats and cargo ships, but now they’ve gotten especially brazen—they hijacked an oil tanker. I have a secret, they didn’t do it for the ransom, they just wanted to make Beanstockd.

So, after an otherwise lackluster fifth go-round, the Entourage season finale reminded us why we love the show. Vincent Chase’s big comeback project, Smoke Jumpers, was killed by the studio big wig played by Caleb Nichol, so the boys high-tailed it back to Queens to lick their wounds. Back in New York, Eric pushed hard to get Vinny in Gus Van Sant’s new picture, but Vinny was rejected anyway. Pissed off and embarrassed, Vince fired E…who then returned to LA to manage Bow Wow’s character. And just when you thought there would be no happy ending, Ari shows up with Martin Scorsese on line one. Bingo, Vince is the lead in Scorsese’s new Great Gatsby remake, E’s back on board and they give us just enough to keep us wanting more. The show returns next summer.

Here’s a really good eco tip: do not, under any circumstances, let the minders of the Union Square Greenmarket see you accidentally tossing Styrofoam peanuts in the compost heap.

Turkey day is almost here, so our apologies if we seem a bit distracted. We might be recharging our batteries (with solar panels, natch) or we might be fielding questions such as: Do you remember when you were a baby and I burped you and you spit up baby formula on my shoulder? What is a blog? And my perennial favorite, will you be marrying within your race?

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Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt haven’t been in the headlines for a couple weeks so they decided to get hitched. The elopement was apparently so secret that only Us Magazine cameras were allowed to attend the ceremony whereas silly people, like Heidi’s mother, were left in the dark. Of her mother, Heidi says, "I don’t know when I’ll tell her." Unless her mother never stands in a grocery store check-out line, Heidi won’t have to worry about telling because Us will be able to provide all the details she could ever want. Even though the Pratts avoided the whole big “day” drama, they still managed to rack up a carbon footprint with those photogs trailing after them. Conservation International is one of many sites that can help Heidi & Spencer calculate what they owe the environment for their union. Not to mention what they owe their families, I’m sure turkey day conversation is going to be really interesting around the Montag & Pratt tables.

LD

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We understand that Kanye West is the greatest thing to hit the streets since sliced bread. We know he continues to “push the limit” and “break boundaries,” but honestly, we think he’s suffering from a case of overblown ego. When he got screwed out of the VMA he thought he rightfully deserved, he threw a hissy fit. We know it’s hard to lose. We were the last ones picked for kickball in elementary school; we understand.

But we also know that when an award is given to you, the right thing to do is to say thank you. Not to try and play god and offer said award to Lil’ Wayne and claim that the award should have gone to a previous song of yours, Stronger.

In short, he needs to get over himself. You’re great, Kanye. Just let things come as they may. Be satisfied within yourself. Get zen, or something like that. Or, go the route of Amy Winehouse and pick up a cocaine addiction and whine about how the world is so terrible to you. We’ll blame you when the rainforest disappears. That’s right, coke kills trees. You won’t win an award for that, btdubs.

Sarah

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Good Morning Beanies.

Kids these days grow up so fast! Even though with all the hair extentsions, she looks older, Miley Cyrus just turned 16 on Sunday. Happy Birthday Miley!

Former wild-child Angelina Jolie could give Miley a few tips on revamping her image. Apparently, Angelina is more well-known for her humanitarian work than for wearing vials of blood or kissing her brother because she controls her magazine and tabloid coverage. Well, Angie, until you give Beanstockd an exclusive contract to Brad Pitt, you can’t control us! Just keep doing good and going green, and we won’t have to dish dirt.

Oh yeah, that one vampire movie came out or something. It might have been number one, which is weird because it totally didn’t get any media coverage and no one read the book.

Citigroup and US regulators are trying to formulate a plan to save the company. They’re having a tough time of it and are quickly running out of options. If the government bails out Citigroup, there could be insufficient funds for other banks.

On that cheerful note, Happy Thanksgiving! Even though the economy has gone down the drain, we still have a lot to be thankful for, like being alive, Gossip Girl (welcome back little J), High School Musical 3 and we’re not vampires! Make this Thanksgiving a green one by cooking locally grown produce, avoiding disposable products and of course, keeping the leftovers! Turkey and stuffing always taste better the next day.

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Oh M & G. We’re glad to hear your divorce was finalized. It means the media circus surrounding your (atrociously secret revealing, backstabbing) selves can finally cease. We were getting sick of hearing about how Madge has no time for her family and only for her trainer, and how Guy was a little bit crazy in the head.

We’d heard rumors that Guy was after Madonna’s money, but turns out, he (by choice!) got none of the singer’s $300 million fortune. “Now I ain’t sayin’ he’s a gold digger!” When we really think about it, it sounds like Madge might be the crazy one. Guy seems to have only wanted what was best for the kids all along. This theory would be contingent with our other theory (that Madge wears wackass footwear when she’s stressed).

The thing is, cohabitation is the greenest way to go. But we know things were rough on the Ritchie clan. We just hope Madge and Guy do their best to economize when it comes to shipping the kids back and forth between London and New York. That’s a whole lot of air travel and a whole lot of bad for the earth. Do the right (green) thing, guys!

Sarah

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Leighton Meester has finally landed an ad campaign. And it’s Reebok. As in, not anyone exciting, and totally not something Blair would wear. I mean, come on. Blair wouldn’t touch sneakers with a ten-foot pole. Why, Leighton, why? You could have done so much better.

People are all up in arms over the fact that Britney Spears’ promo shots from her new album show her wearing designer clothes that apparently, she’s “not good enough for.” Bullshit. Brit’s good enough for anything! The clothes in question: a Rodarte dress on her album cover, and a Balenciaga piece from ’06 inside the album pages.

Barneys wants us to have a happy and hippie holiday. Well, way to be WAY BEHIND! Many of us have been happy and hippie since the 60s. However, their holiday mailer includes Karlie Kloss (love her), and marks all the eco-friendly stuff with a little leaf, so we’ll give them a (small) pat on the back.

Candace Bushnell’s Lipstick Jungle hasn’t been cancelled! Hooray! More shirtless Robert Buckley and women’s power dressing and statement necklaces are coming our way! Pretentious fashionistas hate on the series, but I love me some Victory Ford.

Rogan for Target is back, baby! Introducing, Loomstate for Target, Rogan’s eco-friendly collection, which will hit stores just in time for Earth Day (April 20th). This means 100% eco-friendly materials, like linen and silk, for between $15-$45.

Lastly, our man Kanye West is putting out his feelers for an internship at a fashion house. How Sean Avery of him! We’ll keep our eyes peeled, Mr. West.

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