Filed under: Beanstockd
Jack Black, Ben Stiller and others are buying dye for the hair-down-there. I guess the idea is that if you’re going a little grey up top and you touch it up, then the ladies are going to realize something’s up when they get back from that boozy fundraiser atop the Ritz-Carlton with you to shake your knickerbockers off and finds a little grey where a toupee can never go.
The product in question is Betty Beauty, and it’s for folks who "interested in matching the carpet to the drapes." Ahem. Well. Could be a very nice stocking stuffer for someone close to you.
Are you thinking: shouldn’t you just let nature run it’s course in these… sensitive environments? We agree, but it turns out that nature has gotten all messed up, and we don’t just mean with tye-dying the short-and-curlies. In fact, fewer boys are being born and the cause seems to be man-made. A new documentary called The Disappearing Male documents an increasing trend genital deformities in boys that are born.
Yes, we’re talking about smaller johnsons. As more endocrine-disruptors build up in the environment, boys’ bodies have a harder time figuring out whether or not to give a lad his lad. The main culprit for this pollution seems to be plastics, and as we use more of them the problem will only get worse.
It does make for great new pick-up lines, though. "Yeah baby, I was born in the early 80s, and you know what that means."
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