Back in the olde country, Beanstockd’s grandmother was that lady who rode around in rickshaws and carried audacious parasols. We like to think she was at the cutting edge of the environmental movement—prosthelyzing through her actions, the message of emissions-free transport and air pollution as an accelerant of ozone depletion and skin cancer. Really though, she just didn’t want to be mistaken for anything less than bourgeois. It was a different time and a different world—tanned skin was the mark of an agrarian peasant.

Grandma would’ve come down with the vapors, if she knew about the stunt Robert Downey, Jr.’s character pulled in “Tropic Thunder.” Because his desire to win an Oscar was so strong, RDJ’s character underwent a full-body skin transplant so he could play a black character in a Vietnam War film. It worked…kind of. Throwing a rare bone to comedy, this year’s actual Academy Award nominees for Best Supporting Actor include one humorous role: Robert Downey Jr. as Kirk Lazarus.

We should add that if Grandma knew a tan was her ticket to the Oscars, her haughty ass would have dispensed with the sun umbrella faster than you can say pomp and circumstance.

Bacon Bits

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The SAG Awards took place Sunday night. Kate Winslet, Amy Adams and Freida Pinto reigned in my book, while Emily Blunt fell short in a glitzy dress with a too tight hairstyle and Tina Fey spilled out of an ill-fitting fugly prom dress.

Studs, chains and other rock and roll embellishments are all the rage for Pre-Fall, according to WWD. This Catherine Malandrino is calling my name for a green DIY on something I already own. Why buy something when I can make it myself?

John Galliano addressed the economy in relation to his extravagant collection for Dior at Paris Fashion Week: “Of course I’m sensitive to the economy…But [dealing with it] is not my job. My job is to do the best I can to show the possibilities of Dior.” Gee, I didn’t realize couture rhymed with social irresponsibility!

MTV picked up The City for a second season. I’ll watch, of course, but only for Nevan cameos. Seriously, he’s the highlight of the show. This Monday’s bit of Nev-wisdom: “Male models will be male models.” AH, NEVSTER! Such a funny man.

Karl Lagerfeld’s latest collection for Chanel couture just showed in Paris. Those curious headpieces? They’re made out of office paper. Cool, but oh-so-wasteful. Bad Karl, bad.

FINALLY, the next crop of ANTM wannabes is here! The new season debuts February 25th, so set your DVR. I’m loving London, but I bet Tyra will favor Alison – she loves the awkward girls (hello, McKey).

Beth Ditto, the most fabulous woman on earth (also known as the frontwoman of The Gossip, will be joining Kate Moss as a designer for Brit brand Topshop. The collection hits stores in July. Topshop.co.uk here I come!

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If you know nothing else about us, Beanstockd never misses a good party, let alone one with a clever green context. Thus, despite the festival being out-Sundanced this year by the Presidential Inauguration, Beanstockd was still holding it down with the other 11 people at the 2009 Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah.

This year’s festival lineup featured seven environmentally-themed movies, not to mention recycling bins, conservation flyers, and public transportation –ie. buses used to efficiently haul attendees from one theater to the next…then strand them in Middle of Nowhere, Utah, on the way home. (No we’re not bitter.) Eco-documentary "Earth Days" was also given the coveted spot as Sundance 2009’s closing night film.

Beanstockd was in the audience for "Earth Days’" big night, as director Robert Stone took us through what the festival describes as "the history of our environmental undoing through the lens of nine Americans whose work and actions launched the modern environmental movement." The film began with a montage of US Presidents from JFK to George Dubya (whose appearance, as precedent would predict, was met with jeers from the audience) all expressing the urgency of environmental reform during their administrations. Interviews with the chosen nine followed, which included biologist Paul Ehrlich and JFK’s Secretary of the Interior, Stewart Udall, among others.

While the film was kind of boresville and watched like a PBS documentary, props to the festival organizers for making eco-issues such a priority this year.

Other notable films included the Sundance 2009 opening film, Mary and Max—a quirky and somewhat dark claymation picture featuring the voices of Eric Bana and Phillip Semour Hoffman—and 5 Minutes of Heaven, a psychological drama set in Ireland featuring Liam Neeson and an incredible performance by James Nesbitt.

By far, the best film Beanstockd saw at the 2009 Sundance Film Festival was the much buzzed-about 500 Days of Summer starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zooey Dechanel. In a sold-out Eccles theater, we watched this surprisingly punchy reinterpretation of the typical romantic comedy. As the trailer describes: "Boy meets girl. Boy falls in love. Girl doesn’t." And though we do indulge in the occasional chick-flick, among other vices, the guys loved this one too. We laughed, we cried, we laughed more, we left higher than Bacon Bits after a similarly buzzed-about birthday party. The Q&A with Joseph Gordon-Levitt after the screening was fun too. We assume this will come out sometime over the summer (subtle, right?) and trust us, 500 Days is definitely worth forking up the extra 12 bucks.

Kandz

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It seems that all the Playboy bunnies (even the ones from movies) are getting hitched. Anna Faris of last year’s House Bunny joins the ranks of the newly engaged who have previously worn the infamous bunny tail. She plans to wed Chris Pratt from Bride Wars.

Meanwhile, Hugh Hefner is revitalizing his stock of ladies (last count: he’s back up to three girlfriends) in a big way just like the House which is trying to revamp green spending by passing a $100 billion package. Ultimately, the investment in energy efficiency programs and environmental restoration will outlast all of Hefner’s romances (both onscreen and off).

LD

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Lauren Conrad no longer lives in her famous mini-mansion. The reality star/”designer” recently moved into a Los Angeles high rise with Lo. Apparently LC wanted better security and more privacy because of the constant attention from paparazzi. This problem will most likely resolve itself once The Hills is cancelled, which rumor has it, will be sooner rather than later. We hope she remembered to use recyclable packing materials and file a temporary change of address with the Post Office. The USPS sells lists of permanent address changes to marketers. By temporarily changing her address Lauren will avoid getting junk mail and save a few trees in the process.

Christine

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Call me Bacon Bits Incarcerated. I now count as peers Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn and The Count of Monte Cristo because I know what it feels like to be an unlawful detainee. Everyday I do the environment a favor by using mass transit. Yesterday, I was repaid with a hideous yellow ticket covered with scribbles and confectioner’s sugar. After exhibiting extraordinary kindness by holding the closing subway doors for my fellow citizens, a mustachioed armadillo of a man in some sort of navy blue uniform with a shiny gold brooch rudely called me off the train. Thinking somebody needed my help, I deboarded and was immediately escorted away where I was browbeaten and abused before receiving the aforementioned jaundice piece of paper.

I’m amid one of those great New York City rites of passage: moving. With it comes the struggle of what to keep and what not to keep. An intermittent hoarder, I save almost everything—it’s my shit and it’s not in a landfill. But since it would just be too cumbersome for me to save for my unborn son the entirety of the goldmine that is my wardrobe, Sarah got all Clotheshorsey and told me to visit Buffalo Exchange. The Salvation Army isn’t the only option; I can try to sell what I don’t keep to Buffalo Exchange, where, in all likelihood, it will be instantly snatched up by an unkempt transient at a five hundred percent mark-up.

Let’s get back to the miscarriage of justice that was my Wednesday morning. You should have heard my pleas. They ran the gamut from flattery: Great moustache, officer! They’re quite in vogue right now. To gentle ribbing: Sergeant Stache, are you puttin’ me on? To the simple: I can get ticketed for holding the doors? The last one is true.

It’s also true that the girl I once considered the Carrie to my Big has not heard about my move. Hey Meliss, I’m moving to your block.

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This Monday, in a poly-amorous slew of press interviews, Illinois Governor Blagojevich revealed that Oprah Almighty could’ve filled Obama’s senate seat. (Recap: Blagojevich put it on eBay. No reserve. Free shipping.)

Though the governor still maintains claims of innocence re: eBaygate, said Pillar of Moral Fiber did go on to comment that, though Oh-prah’s political clout made her a viable contender for the hot spot, he ultimately realized that probably, she doesn’t give a fuddrucker. Upon hearing Blagojevich’s revelation, Ms. Winfrey had only this to say:

“WTF? LOLzz. Me want food.” We’re barely paraphrasing. Besides, getting asked to filibuster when one already runs the universe seems more like polite demotion. Chances are, Oprah’s too busy greening the planet with her eco-friendly dining etiquette – minimize napkin-use or, better yet, use cloth napkins (I dub thee: Clopkins.). Seriously, O eats so little she barely burns through ten clopkins per meal. Vive les arbres.

In the meantime, look to find OMG OBAMA SENATE SEAT!!!!! re-listed for Buy It Now or Best Offer.

Irene, Shih Spoke

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Poor Leighton Meester. Stupid Blake Lively with the annoying giggle keeps stealing her thunder and grabbing mad magazine covers. Her character Blair just can’t catch a break. Ok, ok. We know Blair and Leighton are different people. Which is why we can’t understand the reasoning behind Leighton’s effed up family constantly making headlines. So her mom was a druggie and Leighton may or may not have been born behind bars. So her brother did some shady things while he was in the army. But honestly, who gives a crap? Leighton is an independent woman!

It bothers us that peeps can’t separate L from her fam. Just because they did some wacko things doesn’t mean she will too. We think everyone’s just jealous because a) she’s the prettiest person on the planet, b) her lips are perfect and c) she gets to make out with Chuck Bass on a biweekly basis. Seriously, though, how does she get her lips to look so perfect? She must have magic lip-gloss like Perfect Organics lip shimmer. This vegan gloss includes both shea butter and aloe vera, so it’s bound to pamper your pout.

Sarah

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Rumors are swirling that Evan Rachel Woods and her much older co-star Mickey Rourke are dating. Normally, this would be hard to believe since Mickey is 35 years her senior and plays her father in The Wrestler, but she did date Marilyn Manson, so, enough said. Apparently, back in November there were reports the two were hooking up, which Evan denied to People Magazine. Now, the rumor is Mickey and Evan were spotted making out at the SAG Awards after party last weekend. Ewww!

Based on Evan’s past relationship, we think we have the perfect Valentine’s Day gift for Mickey to give his new lady. Amy Nugent, a jeweler and artist in Vancouver, has a new line of jewelry made from road kill. The accessories range from key chains made with turtle hands to bracelets made from porcupine quills. How romantic!

Christine

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Introducing Carolyn who’s got it all: beauty, brains and a ruthless brand of ambition that makes a man want to cross his legs when he sees her. Prepare for Washington news delivered with sharp precision and merciless wit that takes no prisoners and trusts no one. It’s like Tracy Flick’s mom always said, "The weak are always trying to sabotage the strong."

With his first offical week in office, President Obama has already put forth his first eco-action. He signed an executive order that allows states to set their own ambitious auto emissions standards, which differs sharply from the Bush adminstration. California is the first state to act on this order.

President Obama also reached out this week and called German Chancellor Angela Merkel, Russian President Dmitry Medvedev and French President Nicolas Sarkozy to address some important issues including the world wide economic crisis and Afghanistan. In their conversation with President Obama, Russian President, Medvedev and Prime Minister, Vladimir Putin made it clear that they expect Obama to work harder on US-Russia ties and clean up the mess left behind by Mr. Bush.

Walking hairball, Illinois Gov. Rob Blagojevich is on the offensive this week doing his best to repair his tarnished image. I personally think he should start with a haircut? Apparently Blagojevich has hired the same PR firm that represents former suburban Police Sgt. and suspected murderer, Drew Peterson. I’m sure that will turn out well, considering the bang up job they’ve done with Peterson’s image! His first stop: The View…poor little, hairy man!

Kirsten Gillibrand has been appointed to fill the New York senate seat vacated by Hillary Clinton, and was it a big seat to fill…bu dum bump. Thank you, I’ll be here all week. The unknown, pro-gun Democrat from upstate New York was sworn in by Vice President Joe Biden. She got the position after front runner Caroline Kennedy backed out due to “personal reasons.”

As a Canuck I must admit I was a little disappointed to find out that the Canadian government is feverishly pursing nuclear deals with India. According to recent reports, Canada`s international trade minister recently attended a four-day mission to India. The two countries are very close to making a deal that would see Canada selling nuclear reactors and uranium to India. Bad Canada…bad, bad Canada!

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