Filed under: Beanstockd
The regal disposition; the joyous countenance…man, I should be President. It’s a shame there has to be an age minimum. It’s also a shame that one or more of the Beanstockd powers-that-be had to see me exercising certain vices. What am I trying to say? My stint here at Beanstockd is not a case of at-will employment; it’s actually a case of blackmail and indentured servitude.
Anyway, have people ever cared—or been so emotional—about an inauguration like this? There were points on Tuesday when I was seriously no better than Kerry Washington, who can be seen in the video bawling like she’s feeling guilty about eating a double cheeseburger and three wedges of Boston cream pie. Oh wait, that’s me when I wake up every Sunday morning. Which I then follow up with a four-day bender of manorexia. But seriously, Barack Obama, the consummate gentleman; Michelle Obama, the stunning First Lady; and Beyonce, the reigning diva; dancing and serenading in what will no doubt be a hall of fame YouTube clip. I’m so jealous it makes me want to litter.
So let’s get down to brass tacks. Madame Clotheshorse, the First Lady is all yours; allow me to critique the President’s inauguration night attire, because, oooh child, that tuxedo was simply debonair. The cut, the length, the cufflinks, the shoes, the trousers with the narrow satin stripes and last but not least, the modest notched lapel over a monotone shirt/bow tie combination in radiant ivory. The devil’s in the details. Demure, yet elegant; defiant in its modernity, Barack’s tuxedo was almost as good as the one I wore to my prom.
Finally, something green. As long time beanies know, we’re always lauding the eco-miracles of pedestrianism, so we marked it down as a moral victory when the Obamas got out of their armored limo to walk, not once, but twice during the Inaugural Parade. And that’s a good thing, because the new Presidential limo is so heavy with armor and gadgetry that it takes fifteen seconds to go from zero to sixty and only gets eight miles per gallon. Apparently, both of those statistics are really bad.
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does everyone agree the president and first lady really look like they’re in love? just curious –
Comment by Matty Byloos 01.22.09 @ 11:12 amNot only does it look like they’re in love, Matt, it looks like they’re still banging. Which probably hasn’t happened much in the white house–at least between a prez and first lady–in over 40 years.
Comment by Bacon Bits 01.22.09 @ 11:32 amoh Bacon Bits, what would we do without you? *cracks whip*
zing!
Comment by Kay Kay 01.22.09 @ 2:31 pmAww thanks, Kay Kay. It’s good to feel wanted. even if it is in a slave and master kinda way. Btw, I’m so on to you. haha! One day we’re going to meet (if we haven’t already) and it’s going to be really funny. The Queen Bees have tentacles that run long and deep (which I guess would make them–or you–calamari), but they’re no match for my sleuthy ways. Trust!
Comment by Bacon Bits 01.22.09 @ 5:31 pmLeave a comment
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