Filed under: Beanstockd
Dear Diary, I mean, happy Thursday, Everybody! I hope your week’s been better than Tiger Woods’. Mine has. Like Teddy Pendergrass, I turned off the lights (well, the television) and finished a one thousand piece puzzle and it’s an all-American beauty. There it is. It’s a Norman Rockwell painting that was on the cover of The Saturday Evening Post in 1953. It’s entitled “The Soda Jerk,” which is totally what I would have been back in the day if I were alive and allowed to enter “Whites only” ice cream parlors.
Ready for the latest on Tiger Woods? On Tuesday, we told you that the list of women Tiger cheated on his wife with grew to nine and that Elin’s mom had to be rushed to the hospital with stomach pains. Well, her tummy’s feeling better and she’s out of the hospital, but Woods’ troubles just keep getting worse and worse. After adult thespian Holly Sampson brought the mistress total to nine, her industry colleague, Joslyn James, also came out of the woodwork to say she bedded the golf star. Now, reports are saying that Elin told Tiger auf Wiedersehen and moved out. Sure, that’s German and not Swedish, but for some reason I see Elin channeling Heidi Klum before walking out the door. There’s no end in sight for this story, so what I’d like to know is: When Tiger ran over that fire hydrant and hit that tree, was it like a scene out of a summer hip-hop video where water spews uncontrollably like a geyser? And, is the tree going to be okay?
Top Chef Las Vegas wrapped up its season last night by crowning Michael Voltaggio Top Chef. One-half of the vaunted Voltaggio brothers, Michael defeated his brother Bryan and fan-favorite Kevin Gillespie in the final round with broccoli made to resemble popcorn, properly prepared matsutake mushrooms, squab, and a dry chocolate cake that nearly derailed his almost perfect four course meal. Congratulations, Michael. As for me, I’m going to catch hell from the Beanie Broads because I wrote a hundred words about food. Sorry, Rexy Beans! If it makes you feel any better I didn’t actually eat anything during the show and one of the prizes Michael won was a Prius.
Last thing. Handshakes and smooches, smooches and handshakes…fist bumps? This is
5 Comments so far
Leave a comment
I wonder if Asians were considered white back in the Soda Fountain Era. I mean, if it's white or black, you all are more white probably. Either way, there would be far too many calories tempting you in a Soda Fountain Shop so I seriously doubt you'd allow yourself to hang out there much. Speaking of calories…my dinner had only 85 of them. I'm saving up to eat a cookie at The Beanstockd Holiday Party on Saturday.
Where's Phillie Phield Korrespondent, Kommenting Kat? He best be attending the fete this weekend.
Comment by informrbean 12.10.09 @ 9:27 pm* Clearly I meant Phillie-Loathing Phield Korrespondent Kommenting Kat, who everyone knows is from Pittsburgh.
Comment by informrbean 12.11.09 @ 12:06 pmYikes. Nice save.
If they knew what was good for them back in the egg cream days, they'd want "orientals" on their team, but they'd probably just think we were mexicans.
Comment by Bacon Bits 12.11.09 @ 12:29 pmJoe Pesci couldn't have said it better than he did in Good Shepherd:
Joseph Palmi: We Italians, we got our families and we got the church. The Irish, they have the homeland. The Jews, their traditions. Even the N—–, they got their music. What about you people Mr. Carlson, what do you have?
Edward: The United States of America, the rest of you are just visiting.
Merry Christmas everyone!!!…see you at the party on Saturday
Comment by Big Papi 12.11.09 @ 6:55 pm
First of all I don't loath Philadelphia or people that live in the Philly area. That's like hating on a homeless person for not taking a shower. Their beneath me and I just feel bad for them.
Nice job on the puzzle although I have to say it looked a little elementary for you. I guess since I wasn't there to headman this project you choose a puzzle from the 10 & under division.
Of course white people knew who the asians were back in the 50s. Who do you think they asked to dispose of all the dead bodies? Everyone knows that asians are notorious for feeding people to the pigs!
Leave a comment
Line and paragraph breaks automatic, e-mail address never displayed, HTML allowed:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong> <font color="" face="" size=""> <span style="">
