Ashley Olsen hooking up with Lance Armstrong!?!: talk about Axe Effect

Celebrated Cyclist Lance Armstrong and celebrated RayBan wearer Ashley Olsen were spotted “canoodling” at the Rose bar in New York’s Gramercy Park Hotel.

So this is a big shocker… except not at all. Ashley Olsen is just the newest member of Lance’s identical blonde brigade.
Let’s assess.

Lance and wife

Lance and Sheryl

Lance and Tory

Lance and Ashley

Assessment: the only thing that differentiates these women (apart from length of visible roots) is age…. we’re talking serious age. Sheryl is almost 10 years older than Lance, while Ashley is 15 years younger. Mr. Livestrong seems to date by the decade.

And speaking of roots: Why Lance ever developed a taste for women who are bad at haircolor up-keep perplexes us; the hair dyes they use to blonde-ify contain high doses of lead, which according to the NSC contribute significantly to air and water pollution. At the rate these women are bleaching, we hope they’ll switch to a brand like Aveda, which is not only 99% all-natural but is also rumored to counteract the bizzarre Axe Effect of Lance Armstrong. Drizzler

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