THE GREENHORNE REPORT (5.19.08): Have a Nice Summer, Gossip Girl

Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy and lip-syncher Ashlee Simpson wed this weekend. Yeah we saw that shotgun wedding coming, but Tony Romo was there with Jessica? For reals? We thought Romo had jumped ship last week!

On that note, we promise, no more wedding announcements in this column until Paris Hilton finally jumps the broom with her frenemy’s twin brother.

OMFG Gossip Girl finale! What are we going to do without Chace Crawford?!?! (or Ed Westwick for that matter) The CW’s days are numbered. Worried about low ratings and getting shut down, the CW is reducing current shows (no more Gossip Girl or ANTM full episodes on their website) recycling old shows (90210), and reusing formulas for new shows (The Devil Wears Prada + The Fashionista Diaries – Ugly Betty = Stylista)

Speaking of recycling: The Office’s “original Japanese version”

Some straight-talking bro-love: Diddy loves Kanye, and ain’t afraid to say it!

Anti-Immigrant attacks in South Africa. While the country’s economy and unemployment rate are not stellar, it’s still better than all of the surrounding nations, prompting immigrants from places like Zimbabwe to flock to South Africa, looking for work. Many South Africans seriously resent this.

Huge-ass Obama rally in Oregon. Of course the farmers like McCain. But now everyone in the northwestern lands of flannel and coffee can drink their Starbucks out of ceramic cups. The coffee giant is standardizing the greener cups and switching to 50% renewable energy by 2010.

Sorry, just one more wedding announcement! California overturned its ban on gay marriage and all of Hollywood is coming out of the woodwork to say their vows. Not only are Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi getting married, but Star Trek actor George Takei plans to marry his partner of twenty years this summer as well.

Professor Tim Flannery, the 2007 Australian of the Year, suggests dimming the sky with sulphur to slow down effects of global warming. For reals. He proposes dispersing the gas in the stratosphere through jet-plane exhaust, but does not know the consequences of changing the sky’s color. We kinda like our sky blue?

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