Our Affair with John Edwards

Oh, John Edwards. We’re not mad at him for having an affair. We’re mad at him for not having an affair with us.

We’re cute. We’re young. We’re spry. And we know how hard he worked to make his campaign green before it was popular. We know how awesome his environmental policies would have been (if he didn’t lie to us and cheat with the oil companies behind our back, that sly dog). And we lie in our beds and think, what if? What if Jo Ed had rocked our world and changed it at the same time?

We guess they’ll always just be fantasies now that he will never, ever, ever get a Vice Presidential nod. And the closest thing to a cabinet position he’ll have after this mess is becoming assistant manager at a Home Depot.

MD

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