Filed under: Beanstockd
John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston are done. To think that just a few days ago, we heard reports of wedding bells and baby mamas. We’re a little sad about this. For starters, can’t someone up there cut Jen a break? Reports say John dumped Jen, but we think the breakup could have had something to do with the fact that John makes that awful "O face" every time he gets near a microphone. Regardless of who did the dumping, we’re disappointed.
Our advice: might we recommend Jen get a journal? We all know John loves to write about his relationships, so we suggest Jen do the same! On bamboo paper from Smock! It’s the first print shop in the US to print on sustainable paper; they’re entirely wind-powered; and bamboo’s basically the sh*t! And down the road, when Jen wants to toss her sorrows in the fireplace, we suggest the recycling bin instead. Or, she can hand that little bamboo book of memories our way…because we’ll definitely make sure it goes in the bin. All this talk of green wonder—we’re making our "O face"!
Sarah
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[...] John and Jen may be done (the fact that no one could combine their names à la Brangelina should have been a hint), but Jen’s not sitting anything out. There are already reports that she’s been out with a Mystery Man, and smooching him, too! Please, for our sake, use organic lipsticks that don’t contain cow brains or carcinogenic coal tar dyes. The Campaign for Safe Cosmetics found that 61 percent of brand-name lipsticks have traceable amounts of lead, which would not only would get into MM’s mouth, but Jen’s, too. Organic lipsticks like Burt’s Bees are made from natural products and colors and come in recycled/-able aluminum and plastic containers. [...]
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