Happy Un-Thirsty Thursday, Kids. I went exorbitantly green yesterday and good lord does my head hurt. Anyone got any Airborne? Upon walking into my apartment, I was handed a plastic champagne flute filled with an emerald quencher that I visually triangulated to be an evil union of Alizé, Bartles & Jaymes and Sour Apple Mad Dog. Turns out it was just Trader Joe’s sauvignon blanc imbued with green food coloring. But, because it looked like something I would have sucked out of box adorned with Slimer the friendly ghoul from Ghostbusters while watching Romper Room, I made like it actually was Ecto Cooler and drank it with the unsightly vigor of a Greenpeace kid sniffing his first patchouli infused chai steamer.

Needless to say, my bout with fortified Hi-C led to me dragging my roommates to the local Irish sounding bar to drink “Laotian style.” That’s where you sit in a big circle with one small glass and a pitcher of beer and drink one at time. A designated server carries the glass and pitcher around the table pouring drinks and generally making a spectacle of himself and the person whose turn it is to consume the varying amount of beer. So, because I’m still hungover and questioning my life choices, I’ll say that not only was my St. Patrick’s Day green, so is everything else coming out of my body. Nasty. Okay, what I’m really trying to say is the big winner in all of this isn’t just the dishwasher at the East Village’s Blarney Cove, but the regional water table. Happy World Water Day, everybody! Quit taking such long ass showers, you jerks. I will now proceed to the nearest spittoon in order to give it my heartfelt green offering…from the bottom of my belly.

Back to Beanstockd>>

In the latest edition of Playboy, funny lady Sarah Silverman dishes about her love life, but not in an icky way like John Mayer. "I think Jimmy and I had every intention of spending the rest of our lives with each other. I love love. It's my top priority. Jimmy [Kimmel] will tell you. I'm a good girl," she told the mag. As for her new boyfriend, Alec Sulkin, it was love at first tweet. After following Alec on Twitter for a while, Sarah wrote him a note that said, 'You're funny.' "When we finally met, he came over to my place, walked in the door, put out his hand and said, 'Hi, I'm Alec.' We've spent every day together since," she elaborates. But don't expect them to be getting married anytime soon. "It's just not for me," she says. "I'm a vegetarian, but I don't have a problem if you want a hamburger. Marriage, to me, is like eating meat. I think it's gross and f***ing crazy. It's this superbarbaric, old-timey tradition that no one remembers we don't have to do anymore." For Sarah and her fellow vegetarians, there's a new McCruelty Sign Generator where you can "create your own sign to expose what really happens under the Golden Arches" and then spread the word about going veg.

Christine

Back to Beanstockd>>

We took in Rob’s first big screen non-vampire film, Remember Me, over the weekend, and man, what a waste of money! First of all, the script was overly maudlin—we’re all about pity parties, but we went to the movies to see Edward Cullen hit it out of the park. Instead, we left with the confirmation that Pattinson is, indeed, a terrible actor. Second of all, **SPOILER ALERT**, the film ends with Rob dying in 9/11. The movie sets up viewers up to believe it’s taking place in the present, but really, it’s set in 2001. Now, there is a time and a place for everything, but this was neither the time nor the place for a September 11th ending. We found it offensive, and in poor taste.

Needless to say, we’re disappointed. Usually, we hear the name Rob Pattinson, head to the bedroom, and we whip out our rabbit. Okay, did we go too far? Let us at least tell you this – we’ve recently learned that even sex toys can be recycled! Over in the UK, a website called LoveHoney is encouraging users to recycle (not reuse!) their toys. Click here to take the pledge.

Sarah

Back to Beanstockd>>

Lady Gaga gave new meaning to the term recycling with her Diet Coke can hair curlers in the “Telephone” video. Now that’s being resourceful! So we were pretty surprised to hear that Gaga landed in Auckland, New Zealand to perform a set of shows with some major excess baggage. In order to give New Zealanders the same show as the rest of the world, Gaga needed three 747 airplanes filled with cargo to accompany her to Auckland. "I have put in a little extra money this year for the freight so that all the fans could see the exact same show that everyone else sees all over the world. This isn't going to be an abridged show, they're going to see the real monster ball," she told a New Zealand radio station. While we admire her dedication to her fans around the world, the speed and weight of a 747 leaves quite the heavy carbon footprint. In fact, a 747 that flies at 500 miles per hour burns over 3000 gallons of gasoline per hour. Multiply that times 3, and you’ve got an eco-nightmare. Ooohlala, Gaga, you got some explaining to do.

Megan Johnson

Back to Beanstockd>>

We don’t understand what kind of magic potion photographers feed their subjects — but we know it’s one that always convinces them to take their clothes off. First, there was the Miley Cyrus/Annie Leibowitz debacle in Vanity Fair; now, it’s John Edward’s mistress Rielle Hunter and photographer Mark Seliger in the case of “The Racy GQ Photos.” Hunter is reportedly upset over the sexy photos published by the magazine, and as per usual, is blaming the sluttiness factor on the guy behind the camera. According to Babs Walters, Rielle trusted the photographer and therefore, “went with the flow.” Now that the photos have surfaced, however, she’s feeling quite used. You know, because Rielle herself clearly had no say in the matter. We’d love to get on her side, but the girl’s responsible for so many divorce papers and legal documents that she’s probably killed an entire forest of trees. Until she pledges to plant back all she’s used, we’re team Elizabeth, all the way.

Sarah

Back to Beanstockd>>

From taxi exhaust smoke to subway smog, New York City air pollutants can leave skin feeling a hot mess (if not protected). Air pollution and contaminants increase free radicals, which can damage skin cells and speed up aging, while at the same time depleting vitamin E. So how does one (not just New Yorkers) keep healthy skin in such an environment? QVC Voice: Try Gisele Bundchen’s new eco-friendly skincare line, that’s how!

The gorgeous model and wifey of Tom Brady has launched Sejaa, a line featuring all-natural ingredients packaged in recycled paper. Bunchden, who is an environmental activist, said she wished to create a product line that would have as little impact on the environment as possible. So let’s get this straight: she’s got a bangin’ bod, her husband is one of the best quarterbacks of all time, and she now has her own skin care line. Not too shabby, for someone who was discovered eating at a McDonald’s restaurant (in Brazil, of course).

Rob Brayl

Back to Beanstockd>>

And they all lived happily ever after…at least, Demi Lovato and Joe Jonas did. Jemi, as their fans have already nicknamed them, have been denying any sort of connection beyond their BFF-ness for months now, but it seems with just a little manipulative questioning, Demi can be broken. Friday, on Billy Bush’s Access Hollywood show, Lovato confirmed that she is indeed dating the middle JoBro. It was the confirmation heard round the world. Tweens took to the net with vengeance, proclaiming their Jemi love/Jemi hate.

Normally, we wouldn’t give two sh*ts about anything Disney that doesn’t involve Miley, but Jemi just wrote, recorded and filmed a video for their new environmental anthem, “Make a Wave.” All proceeds go to the Worldwide Conservation Fund. It’s part of Disney’s “Friends for Change” initiative, which is built on the concept that if everyone tells their friend to help the environment, big changes can be made. We’d like to make big (surgical) changes to Demi’s butt chin.

Sarah

Back to Beanstockd>>

It was rumored that Gareth Pugh was being eyed to take over Alexander McQueen’s design duties at the fashion house of the same name. Fans of McQueen were angered by this news; they thought it was way too soon to replace the visionary designer, who hung himself during New York Fashion Week on February 11th, 2010. However, a talking head for Pugh has vehemently denied any such rumors, saying that Gareth, whose design sentiments could be seen as matching those of McQueen, is focusing on his own collections and has no intention of taking over the house of McQueen. McQueen’s final collection will be shown in a series of private presentations in Paris this week.

The Academy Awards happened last weekend. Did you watch? Ecouterre’s got a great roundup of who went green on the red carpet.

Paris Fashion Week played host to Lindsay Lohan last weekend; the hot mess partied her life away in the city of lights, but was nowhere to be seen at Monday morning’s Ungaro Fall 2010 show. Guess this means she’s out as “artistic advisor” after putting heart shaped pasties on her models last season? Ungaro owner Asim Abdullah told WWD that LiLo is “not involved in this collection” backstage. When asked at Kenzo why she wasn’t at Ungaro, LiLo said, “because I don’t work for them anymore.” Designer Estrella Archs took her bow solo on Monday morning. Check out her first collection sans Lindsay here.

H&M hasn’t had the best year, eco-wise. First, it was reported that the retail giant was throwing out perfectly good clothing; then, it was revealed that their “organic” and earth friendly cotton wasn’t so earth friendly after all. Apparently, the company is trying to save face, both literally and figuratively. They’ve announced that they’re launching an organic skincare line. We’ll see, H&M.

French Vogue was blacklisted from Balenciaga’s AW10 show after Carine Roitfeld made a big mistake. Apparently, Roitfeld, who consults for Italian brand Max Mara, ordered a bunch of Balenciaga samples. One of these samples ended up at Max Mara, where it was promptly copied and then returned. A mistake? Sources say it was intentional.

Christian Siriano’s talon heels are currently available at Payless for only $79.99. They’re the ones from his runway! Snag yours, stat.

Whitney Port was noticeably absent at Fashion Week last month (last September, she showed her line as part of a group show via People’s Revolution) — turns out that’s because she ditched NYFW to be part of Gen Art’s Fresh Faces show in Miami Wednesday night. View the results here.

Back to Beanstockd>>

All week, people were buzzing about Sunday’s Academy Awards, but there was one moment that was left out of the spotlight so I’m bringin’ you the dirt. Get ready to hear news on…wait for it, wait for it—Jason Mraz’s water bottle!

After attending Elton John’s Academy Awards party on Sunday night, Jason Mraz found that his reusable water bottle had been swiped. The always green singer/songwriter turned to his blog to rant and to pour out (get it?!) some eco-friendly advice for the thief who obtained it:

To the Person who walked off with my Water Bottle last night,

You are so going to enjoy your new water bottle and I thank you for finally getting in the game! In this game, you will not only remember to drink lots of water, but you will become a lot more conscious about where water comes from, how and where to get it for free, AND you will not be wasting money and resources by purchasing unnecessary plastic.

Before you get started, you’re going to want to wash the bottle. I’ve had a nasty cold and I’m pretty sure I’m contagious and I guarantee I left some traces on the mouthpiece. The best way to wash out your new personal water bottle is to pour boiling water into it. This will burn away all the nasty and leave your bottle fresh. (If yours gets really funky, add a little vinegar to the hot water.) Be sure you grip the bottle with a towel or oven mitt as the aluminum will get ouchy hot.

Mraz may be ouchy hot, but could never be cold, shiny, hard plastic.

Rob Brayl

Back to Beanstockd>>

Have you guys seen this? Entitled “King of Kings,” the 62-foot sculpture pictured above is located in Monroe, OH and is better known as Big Butter Jesus. I was curious, so off I went to the Beanstockd research lair. After consulting our microfiche machine, I discovered that the dairy deity is actually made out of Styrofoam and fiberglass. I can’t believe it’s not butter. My Syracuse Basketball Orange were just bounced from the Big East Tournament, so before I get halfway to Shadytown, I’m going to distract myself by playing a self-indulgent little game I like to call If I were…

If I were The Clotheshorse I’d eschew writing about Yves Saint Laurent and consignment shops in favor of Chicos and dumpster diving.

If I were a dangerous type of litter, I would be the falling bullets from celebratory gunfire.

If I were an antiquated French bisque, I would be the leek-based soup called Vichyssoise.

If I were related to Green with Envy, I would be his gray-area cousin named Wicked Jelly.

If I were a rogue street performer, I would be a shoefiti artist.

If I were Belarusian, I would be from Minsk.

If I were to make a movie, it would be the anti-Precious and it would be entitled “Luscious.”

Okay, I’m feeling better now. Let’s get back to semi-legitimate eco-news. The Winter Olympics are over, but there’s one thing I’m still curious about. What was with the flowers? During the medal ceremonies, athletes were given bouquets resembling a cross between asparagus and an infected goiter. That’s not to say that they were ugly, they just didn’t look like the standard bodega carnations you usually see. Turns out there’s a nice story here and a mild eco-foul, to boot. The bouquets were made of green hypericum berries, spider mums and broad leaf greens—all or which are native to British Columbia…except in February. Many were grown in greenhouses around Vancouver, but the lion’s share was shipped from Ecuador. Not exactly green, but I’m guessing the alternative was pine cones. Here’s the feel good part: the 1,800 bouquets were made by women involved with a flower shop called Just Beginnings. They give women who have been abused or are just getting out of jail the opportunity to train to become florists. Using my bizarre logic, having my handy work seen by billions of people around the world is almost worth going to jail for. Almost, because I wouldn't be able to handle the butt sex. Back to Beanstockd>>