Hey Readers, I haven’t been this upset since the vet chopped off my dog’s balls. My newly resoled shoes were sullied by the tartar sauce from a McDonald’s Filet-O-Fish sandwich. This is why I don’t eat in the lunch room.

Googling this pic I learned that the “fillets” are made of pollock, hoki and whitefish from Alaska and New Zealand. That probably doesn’t qualify as ‘local.’ Interestingly, Wikipedia notes that the Filet-O-Fish “is a popular product among Asian consumers.” It’s true.

Last week, The Clotheshorse said donating your clothes to charity was a really green thing to do, so on Sunday afternoon I gathered up the clothes lying around my apartment and marched them down to the Salvation Army. This morning, I got to witness the fruits of my labor when on my walk to the subway I saw a bum outside of Dunkin Donuts wearing my roommate’s Stone Cold Steve Austin t-shirt.

So the Republican Party wants to reinvent itself, but Sarah “energy is my area of expertise” Palin won’t stop trying to rewrite history. She’s been everywhere this week—The Today Show, Larry King, Fox News—trying to save face for a Presidential run in 2012? Please do. I love mindless repetition. Why do you think I’m such a fan of the cheeky chicanery of Benny Hill reruns.

Before I go, if there’s one thing I’ve learned being a hard-hitting reporter with unflinching journalistic integrity it’s this: the National Enquirer is NEVER wrong. They were right about the Pitt/Aniston divorce, the Owen Wilson suicide attempt and the John Edwards love child. Now, they give us Cindy McCain sucking face with some dude that looks like David Lee Roth. Don’t be surprised if we start talking about pre-nups. In this case, it’ll be Cindy protecting that Budweiser money. Sarah has more on Cindy’s philandering…

Back to Beanstockd>>

Jennifer Aniston is apparently beyond ready for the three years (and counting!) pity party to be over. She has recently said, "This whole ‘Poor lonely Jen’ thing, this idea that I’m so unlucky in love?…I actually feel I’ve been unbelievably lucky in love…I’m right where I’m supposed to be.” Sounds great, Jen! And, we’d totally believe her if she hadn’t just gone and bad-mouthed Angelina Jolie (again) in an interview with Vogue. If Jen was so over it all, she’d hardly be calling Angie “really uncool” for what happened with her ex-hubby Brad Pitt. Jen should consider, dare we suggest, following in Angelina’s footsteps and getting a cause. Now, she shouldn’t copy the Jolie-Pitts’ refugees cause. She should find her own, possibly at Green-Passions, which can satisfy activism and her dating needs when she and John Mayer go off-again. We are definitely ready to see the end of the “Poor lonely Jen thing,” but we’re still waiting… maybe it’ll be over in 2024 when Shiloh is just about to go off to college.

LD

Back to Beanstockd>>

We definitely don’t want to Burn After Reading Brad Pitt’s latest news, "Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able." Pitt backed up his pronouncement with a $100,000 donation to help fight Proposition 8 (a California ballot initiative that is trying to take away same-sex couples’ right to marry in the state). We may not all be able to donate $100,000 to a worthy cause (or adopt a new child every 2 months), but we can do our little bit in a paper-free way by letting our credit card do the donating. A few credit cards, including Defender’s of Wildlife Credit Card, will give a small percentage of whatever you charge to the worthy charity of your choice. Meaning you can save the environment, the whales, whatever, without having to write a paper check. Finally, being a shopaholic can benefit the world.

LD

Back to Beanstockd>>

Want to groom like Brad Pitt? We know you do. It’s ok, we do too, even though most of us here at Beanstockd don’t have ’staches to shave. Pitt has signed on to endorse a new, eco-friendly line of body products from Kiehl’s, our favorite too-expensive-but-oh-so-good pharmacy. The aloe vera biodegradable liquid cleanser will be released in October, and sadly, Brad won’t appear on the bottle, or in the ads. Happily, all proceeds will go straight to JPF Eco Systems, a new foundation created by Kiehl’s and Pitt to benefit global initiatives to "minimize impact on the environment through thoughtful design." Read: the cleanser is expected to make at least $1 million big ones; going green has never been so profitable. Or so sexy. Mmm, Brad Pitt. This is one expense we’re just going to have to justify.

Sarah

Back to Beanstockd>>

Did you hear? Scientists at MIT have come up with a breakthrough so revolutionary that it might actually make widespread use of solar power possible! Enough solar power hits the planet in an hour to power the whole planet for a year, the problem has always been how do you collect it and how do you store it for nighttime? Scientist may have figured it out by using solar energy to make oxygen and hydrogen for fuel cells, which could mean that before long we can use solar power for just about everything.

Who cares, though, right? Brangelina’s first baby photos of the twins, Vivienne Marcheline and Knox Leon are out! It’s a 19 page "family photo album" in this week’s People Magazine. The couple were paid $14 million which, of course, they gave to charity. Such nice kids.

If that’s not enough baby porn for you, E! Online has an archive of famous celebrity baby photo covers. (Thank God, right?) It’s too bad the mainstream media can’t focus more on really important news—like which famous lady got knocked up this week—rather than these absurd tidbits about revolutionary alternative energy technology that always seem to make the top headline.

BradyDale

Back to Beanstockd>>

Before Angelina Jolie cared about refugees and Al Gore found the truth inconvenient, Robert Redford worked to raise awareness about environmental and social issues using art. Out of his activism, the Sundance Film Festival was born. Now, Redford turns his sights from film to poetry. Working with Youth Speaks, Redford is calling all young poets to write about their concern for global warming. Finally, young writers are given the chance to join the ranks of such esteemed poetic forbearers as Charlie Sheen, Leonard Nimoy, and (who can forget?) Jewel’s A Night Without Armor. (Thanks to lack of interest in these previous poetry volumes, a slice of rainforest remains alive.)

LD

Back to Beanstockd>>

Did you hear? Angelina Jolie has checked into the hospital to have her twins! We’re betting you did hear. Everyone knows. We walked by a taxi stand last night and the only words we could make out were "Brangelina" and "esploder," again and again!

She hasn’t had the baby yet, but thanks to Jack Black everyone is expecting a double-whammy. We may not know when the moment has arrived till a little after its over, though. Angelina has a security laden floor of a hospital in Nice, France, to herself and her crew. Meanwhile, Pitt’s holding the very expansive fort down with the rest of the brood nearby.

The biggest news in progeny has come out at the same moment as the biggest news in forest conservation. The New York Times is reporting a $510 million deal to preserve 500 square miles of former timber land in Montana. As the price of lumber falls, developers have been buying it to build housing. Protecting this forest land and keeping it intact is important, because its one of the only US ecosystems that hasn’t had any extinctions since the Lewis & Clark.

Lewis & Clark? Now those would be cute names for two twins.

BradyDale

Angelina Jolie may romance James McAvoy in their new thriller Wanted (due out June 27th), but she only wants to take a roll in the hay with one man in her real life – Brad Pitt.  In an MTV News interview Jolie said, "Well, you know Brad was … [Laughs] I’ll always prefer rolling around on the floor with him than any other man. You know, in general."

In the event that Jolie and Pitt want to roll around on something a little more comfortable than the floor, they can check out organic mattresses offered by The Organic Mattress Store, CozyPure, Lifekind, or Shepherd’s Dream.  Not only are organic mattresses free from pesticides as well as fire and dust mite resistant, the cotton used in the mattresses comes from growers who use sustainable methods to help preserve our environment. Besides, rug burn is never fun unless Mr. and Mrs. Smith are into that kind of thing.

LD

Angelina Jolie was outed today by Jack Black—she’s having TWINS! Shiloh’s baby pics snagged $4 million, how much do you think this duo will rake in?

Baby news doesn’t get much bigger than Brangelina popping out a pair, but until Perez is preggers with his clone, we’re getting bored scanning for baby bumps. We’re more interested in the biggest solar roof ever built! PPL Energy is building a roof full of solar panels in New Jersey that’s so big it will spare the atmosphere 65,000 barrels worth of oil emissions every year. That’s almost enough solar panels to put a roof over the heads of that expanding Jolie-Pitt clan. Isn’t solar energy grande?

You know what else is cool about the solar industry? It’s already working on a scheme to recycle old solar panels. Like Angelina’s soon-to-be lactating boobs, the news just gets bigger and bigger.

BradyDale

Mariah to Nick Cannon: If you’re really a prince, I’ll marry you.

We pray to all that is green for this to be true. Even if that is the same frosting he gave his first fiancé, model Selita Ebanks. The way we see it, Mr. Mimi (nee Wild’n Out) is just practicing one of the almighty Three R’s—Recycling.

Our eco-friendly engines are thirsting for the sustainable fuel that only an entertaining new power couple can provide. We’re not sold whatsoever on the validity of TomKat and we’ve wearied of Brangelina’s rainbow coalition. That leaves us with Heidi & Spencer and Paris & Nicole Richie’s brother-in-law. Unless Nick really is that ghetto and Mariah doesn’t read tabloids, we don’t ever see them actually getting married, but we do see them recycling this old story line: engagement/wedding build-up/amicable separation/no wedding.

That is, if this isn’t an episode of Pop Fiction.

Bacon Bits