Barack Obama may still have that pesky “elect” in front of his name, but that doesn’t mean he has time to rest. Besides figuring out who to name (Secretary of State Hillary Clinton? John Kerry?) to the existing Cabinet, there’s the matter of adding to the Cabinet – Climate Czar anyone? Obama’s transition team still hasn’t put out any final word on this potential post, but favored Al Gore has already said he wouldn’t take the job anyway. Well, Ted Stevens, whose expulsion vote from the Senate has been postponed, also said he didn’t do anything wrong, and we all know how that one turned out.

Also deceiving are the numbers from the UN about the Kyoto Protocol. It seems like the 40 countries that signed the protocol actually managed to reduce emissions by the agreed average 5 percent below 1990 levels. Unfortunately, this basically only happened because all those ex-communist eastern European countries have taken such a dive financially. As for the rest of the countries, emissions actually have risen since 2000.

Great Britain became the first country to pass actual legislation regarding climate change yesterday when it finalized a bill to cut greenhouse gas emissions by 80 percent by 2050. In addition to reducing plastic bag usage and establishing emissions trading programs, a committee will be created to monitor climate change and cap pollution during five-year periods.

America could take a tea leaf out of Britain’s book. In its final weeks, the Bush administration is working to ensure the country’s dependency on oil. It established the basis for oil shale drilling on federal lands in Colorado, Utah and Wyoming, where a supposed 800 billion barrels of oil is located. Of course, oil shale is only, you know, twice as costly in terms of energy to produce than crude oil.

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Marc Jacobs is hosting this year’s Housing Works Fashion for Action Event. Housing Works raises money for homeless people living with HIV and AIDS. Go to: donate to a good cause, see Marc’s SpongeBob tattoo up close, get great deals. If you can’t swing the $100 ticket, shop their public sample sale at the store’s Chelsea outpost from November 14th - 16th to snag designer goods at 50-70% off! I love the planet too much to let discounted Marc Jacobs go to waste.

Is Michelle Obama the next Jackie O? Girlfriend’s already showing off her style choices and style loyalties (to hometown designer Maria Pinto; whose clothes she’s worn on multiple occasions). She clearly knows what looks good on her, and isn’t afraid to go all fashionista on us.

Comme des Garçons for H&M hit stores on the 13th. If it’s not all gone already, snatch yourself up an awesomely off kilter jacket. With all the designer collaborations lately, who needs high priced goods? Not I said the fly!

Forever21 isn’t feeling the credit crunch. At least, if they are, they aren’t showing it. They’ve just announced plans to open a new 100,000 square foot store in Times Square. I already get lost in Forevs, how will I navigate such a large space? Ah, the things you have to do for fashion.

Check out Doie Designs. The girls of EcoStiletto wrote about the line, and I couldn’t resist sharing it with you. Doie believes in being stylish and protecting the environment at the same time. I’ve got my eye on this blouse. Those sleeves! Perfection!

Finally, DVF is now a blogger. Wrap dress designer queen say what? You heard me. She’s blogging. On her website. And she’s on Facebook! DVF must be trying to reach out to the younger audience. You know, cause we’ve got BANK (not). Hmm…

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We know times have been tough on Cindy McCain. Her way-too-old-for-her husband ran a shoddy campaign, then lost to The Greatest Man That Has Ever Lived. But honestly, this is hard on him, too! Don’t you think he already doubts his own self worth after losing the biggest and most important race in recent history?

And she had to go and smooch some “washed up 80s rock star” type. Now, we’ve heard that John’s put her through the ringer, so we’ll try not to take sides. But really, couldn’t she do a little better? She’s younger, blonder and hotter, and chose a guy with messy hair and fugly clothing? Minus 10 points for Cindalicious.

If Cindy’s going to cheat, she should at least do it with a hottie. And do it someplace private, not at a music festival in freaking Arizona. How about a car? An environmentally-friendly car! That’s right, according to Treehugger it’s possible to do the deed in a tiny green car just as easily as in a stretch limo. All it takes is some creativity. Speaking of doing the deed in limos, Chuck Bass would have been a much better choice…

Sarah

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You might be devastated, what with the election being over and all. Whatever shall we do without news about John’s plumber or Barack’s latest 30-minute infomercial? What impressions can we do at the water cooler now? No worries! Politics keeps trucking along, spewing nasty emissions everywhere it goes.

For instance, the oil industry is suspected to be behind a proposal for a 20-mile road in an area of Alaska where it’s dangerous to go for a job, lest a bear eat you. The road, which would provide the residents with an easier route to the airport, would cut through the Izembek National Wildlife Refuge.

And then there’s the Bush administration, who’s giving up the idea of building a second nuclear waste dump and just planning on expanding the Yucca Mountain repository, which has been on the books for years. So, not only do we not have any sort of dump for this crap, but the repository’s capacity is supposed to be exceeded in two years (also ten years before construction will be finished). Luckily, President-elect Obama has said he’s looking at alternatives to this plan. Stay tuned to see what he does about energy transformation, one of his “top-tier issues.” Auto industry, maybe?

Perchance politics is greening. Calif. Governor Schwarzenegger is now backing a tax on oil producers to help with the state’s debt. Similarly, on the other side of the country, NYC’s Mayor Bloomberg has proposed charging consumers six cents for each plastic bag at the check-out. Not only would this help generate revenue in today’s economy, but hopefully it would wean everyone off of plastic bags altogether.

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People ask me all the time, “Mr. Bits, what’s it like writing for a world-renowned eco-celebrity site?” Honestly, it’s tough. Militant greenies are always chiding me because of my inherent aversion to things like boxed wine and musks.

Just one week into Barack Obama’s transition and we have a Chief of Staff called Rahm-bo, a visit to the Oval Office and a media love affair that won’t let up. Has any President-Elect ever received this much attention—or scrutiny? Big Green Al wrote an op-ed in the old gray lady about the new administration, energy and the environment.

Gossip Girl—I called it. Little J’s a transient drifter. After making herself at home on a wooden pallet in the back alleys of Brooklyn, she now wants to legally emancipate herself from her parents. The villain from The Princess Bride is now banging Eleanor Waldorf and living under the same roof as Blair. Dan found blood on the hands of Bart Bass, but he’s keeping that ace up his sleeve. If I know my nefarious rapscallions, this ain’t over for Chuck Bass. Nate wasn’t in the episode and I choose to disregard Serena’s storyline.

Look it’s my pet plant, Grey Poupon! Putting used coffee grinds in your potting soil can help the plant grow. Our disgusting office coffee might not do the trick on a morning hangover, but it’s doing wonders for Grey here.

Finally, who knew there were so many Guns N’ Roses fans among the Beanstockd readership? After our review of their new single, we’ve gotten a lot of feedback from some pretty devout GNF’nR supporters. Two things guys: everybody knows Slash’s Snake Pit is the real “new” Guns N’ Roses and can we bring back Axl’s high tops and hot pants?

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Oprah Winfrey—the Queen of Chicago, the Champion of Barack Obama, and the giver away of much charity (while we can’t build a school in Africa, we can work towards a cause using The Point)—managed to make quite a splash on election night. Although she didn’t upstage President-Elect Obama, she came close at least twice.

The first time occurred during an interview with ABC News in Grant Park, when Oprah told a reporter, “Listen, we’ll take the drug addicts’ vote” (see video above). Wow! Oprah is so magnanimous. Maybe they’ll even take the votes of people whose egos are bigger than North America.

The second moment of grand theatrics occurred when she sobbed loudly on a man’s shoulder but never bothered to talk to him. Not even to apologize for the snot she got on his clothes. It has been discovered that Oprah’s borrowed shoulder belonged to Sam Perry, a volunteer for Obama’s campaign. To make amends as only the biggest talk show host can, Oprah has invited Perry to appear on her show today. I hope she at least bought him a new jacket (if not a car or his own school on another continent). This blazer from Rawganique is probably cheaper than getting a booger-covered sports coat dry-cleaned. While Oprah’s enthusiasm and commitment to her political convictions can be applauded, her erratic diva behavior is over the top (even by her own standards).

LD

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Hooray for hope and change throughout the land! Our election day was exciting and emotional to say the least. Besides being high from the Obama victory, (and saddened by the Prop 8 outcome) we did have one other local highlight to report.

Proposition R on our ballot asked us, “Shall the city change the name of the Oceanside water pollution control plant to the George W. Bush sewage plant?” Guess what we voted?

It didn’t pass, but plenty of San Franciscans did vote “YES” (30.9%) Maybe it would be more appropriate to name a sewage center rather than a library after Dubya. Just not this year.

But things are looking up, even for shit. We have read recent reports about the potential of poo; both human and animal varieties. Poo power is sweeping the nation in a variety of ways, as alternative energy experiments become more mainstream. San Antonio, Texas plans to produce a clean burning fuel from human waste methane gas. In Erath County, Texas biogas facilities are using cow poo pastures to eventually heat homes.

Soon, dear ole Dubya will be back in Crawford too, making Texas the leading producer of shit in the country (we’re guessing).

If manure can be manufactured into clean energy, we’d welcome the change.

We’re ready for greener pastures.

Read more about cow power here.

Sharona

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Every morning I walk through New York’s Union Square Greenmarket on my way to the office. And every morning, I’m reminded that there are local gourds haphazardly strewn about. Were I 80’s prop comic Gallagher, those things would get the sledge-o-matic. SQUASH! Have you ever tweaked your hammy kicking a Rockland County pumpkin because you were late and rushing frantically to work?

Yesterday’s historic edition of The New York Times was an instant collector’s item—people scooped them up by the dozen. The Times, as well as other major newspapers, printed extra copies in anticipation. We won’t count this against Barack’s eco-record. Remember, he works for us now. Be careful what you wish for, Mr. President-Elect. We can be pretty harsh critics.

With all the ballyhoo over the election subsiding, I can now get back to pining for Halloween. This year, I was Gargamel from The Smurfs. Next year, I’m thinking Quasimodo.

It’s not all bad. Bacon Bits has himself some new light bulbs, son! Compact fluorescents. My apartment building is so ancient that my old lights are actually wall-mounted oil lanterns. The only time lamp oil is abundant is during whaling season.

Who’s ready for the Holidays? I know a few people that aren’t. I tried to play Silver Bells in the office, but was summarily rebuked by the Ball Buster. Not even the Queen Bees had my back. Apparently, Beanstockd office policy—which they clearly made up on the spot—says no Christmas music until after Thanksgiving. That’s fine, while everyone else at Beanstockd is getting an eco-starter kit for the holidays, they’re getting repurposed gifts: whoopee cushions filled with grease from my George Foreman grill.

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If you somehow couldn’t guess from the video (or from simply living in the world right now), Barack Obama proved that yes he can. He managed to bring out new voters, especially the youngins going in for their first times, to win four key states, Virginia included. Yes, I was one of them. Yes, I am beyond excited, and I swear alcohol has nothing to do with it. John McCain was understandably less excited, though seemingly heartfelt in congratulating Barack, when he conceded the election less than 20 minutes after polls closed on the West Coast, while Sarah Palin blinked away tears on the side.

You couldn’t help but feel a little bad, particularly after John McCain referred to Sarah Palin as one of the best campaigners around.

Obama spoke in Chicago an hour later, both optimistically and realistically, saying there would be ups and downs. And that change, although we are ready for it, will not come immediately. He also recalled the promise that he made his daughters that they would get a new puppy once the election was over, regardless of the outcome. The greatest part is that it’s not even a consolation prize for not having Pennsylvania Avenue for the puppy to pee on.

Meanwhile, things in Congress are looking decidedly blue as well. So far, the Democrats have picked up five seats in the Senate and 18 in the House. Keep an eye on former SNL player Al Franken as his race for Senate may come down to a recount in Minnesota.

Now that we’ve got our new president (well, almost), it’s time to see whether or not his stellar environmental plan will do anything about the goshdarned EPA already. We already knew the Clean Water Act was pretty thin, but now it’s even more diluted. New requirements state that farm operators won’t have to get a pollution permit if they claim that nearby water won’t be dirty-fied. It’s like when you told your mom your room was clean when it was actually covered in mud and play-doh. Bullshit.

The Bureau of Land Management has got to be shitting us too. It’s looking to open wilderness areas in Utah to oil and gas exploration. Could’ve sworn the bureau deemed the areas as being valuable to the wildlife, considering the areas have been under protection the last few years. Could’ve sworn Utah, which is completely surrounded by five different states, didn’t count as a coastal area.

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