Autumn in the Greenmarket. I visited with the girl who sells acorns today. You would not believe the size of her chestnuts. I couldn’t stop staring, so she started talking green to me. A valuable species for reforestation, beech trees—the bearers of said chestnuts— compete well for resources, which means they grow quickly.

Thanksgiving on Gossip Girl. After going rogue for a few episodes, Little J is principled again. Vanessa, however, popped her dark side cherry. She burgles mail now—especially love letters addressed to Jenny from Nate. Was anyone else getting intermittent interference? There was this guy with a pube-stache who kept showing up on my screen every time Serena was on it.

Clan in da front, let ya feet stomp. ESPN’s been getting more playing time on my tube lately. In college football, Alabama (roll tide!) is working its way toward a national championship meeting with Texas Tech, but both schools still have tough games ahead. College hoops tipped off last week and we already have a huge upset. Yikes, Kentucky, Virginia Military Institute? In the NBA, Kobe Bryant and the Lakers were finally handed their first loss by Detroit—the greatest winning streak of all time, the Wu-Tang Clan’s run in the mid-90s, is safe.

I learned about “e-waste” on 60 Minutes. There’s a black market for all those old computers and phones we throw away. Seemingly reputable recycling centers in the US are shipping everything from monitors to Xerox machines to China, where, using “medieval techniques,” valuable trace materials like mercury and gold are extracted. The residual effects on the local ecology are devastating and the criminals on both sides of the Pacific should go right to f@#king jail.

Back to Beanstockd>>

People ask me all the time, “Mr. Bits, what’s it like writing for a world-renowned eco-celebrity site?” Honestly, it’s tough. Militant greenies are always chiding me because of my inherent aversion to things like boxed wine and musks.

Just one week into Barack Obama’s transition and we have a Chief of Staff called Rahm-bo, a visit to the Oval Office and a media love affair that won’t let up. Has any President-Elect ever received this much attention—or scrutiny? Big Green Al wrote an op-ed in the old gray lady about the new administration, energy and the environment.

Gossip Girl—I called it. Little J’s a transient drifter. After making herself at home on a wooden pallet in the back alleys of Brooklyn, she now wants to legally emancipate herself from her parents. The villain from The Princess Bride is now banging Eleanor Waldorf and living under the same roof as Blair. Dan found blood on the hands of Bart Bass, but he’s keeping that ace up his sleeve. If I know my nefarious rapscallions, this ain’t over for Chuck Bass. Nate wasn’t in the episode and I choose to disregard Serena’s storyline.

Look it’s my pet plant, Grey Poupon! Putting used coffee grinds in your potting soil can help the plant grow. Our disgusting office coffee might not do the trick on a morning hangover, but it’s doing wonders for Grey here.

Finally, who knew there were so many Guns N’ Roses fans among the Beanstockd readership? After our review of their new single, we’ve gotten a lot of feedback from some pretty devout GNF’nR supporters. Two things guys: everybody knows Slash’s Snake Pit is the real “new” Guns N’ Roses and can we bring back Axl’s high tops and hot pants?

Back to Beanstockd>>

Drew Barrymore is our girl. We’ve loved her long time. But the fact that we caught her at Webster Hall FULL FRONTAL SNOGGING Chuck Bass aka Ed Westwick makes us love her a little less. For starters, Ed is ours (ok, so it’s in our dreams). Not to mention, Drew’s 33, and Ed is what, like 21? There are only a few couples that can pull off that big of an age difference (Demi and Ashton); everyone else should stop robbing the cradle and leave the good youngins’ to us.

Ok, so we’re jealous. We’d love to be the ones straddling Westwick’s leather pants but alas, our life isn’t a movie. If we did get the chance to get up close and personal with Westwick, we might ask him why he wasn’t part of the recent GG initiative to go green. In case you missed them, members of the GG cast teamed up with the NRDC to produce green video clips with UES flair. Ed was noticeably absent, as was Chace Crawford (who was also spotted with Drew recently!). Perhaps they’re too busy courting Miss Barrymore to court the environment? Westwick should know that the line “I’m Chuck Bass” won’t work on Mother Nature.

Sarah

Back to Beanstockd>>

If you’ve been anywhere near a bus stop or a subway station recently you’ve seen these provocative Gossip Girl ads. After the success of their spring ‘OMFG!’ campaign, The CW is cutting right to the chase by flaunting the show’s criticism in an appeal to our more rebellious and primal sides.

Since mass transit is a Beanstockd term of employment, we have seen said ads and we have a message for all the clever "subway artists" out there. QUIT DEFACING THESE ADS! We don’t know who put you in charge of the subway beautification committee, but we’re old school green and we say littering and vandalizing are gateway climate changers. What’s next, a bonfire at the tire factory? Giving Blake Lively a Hitler-stache is not funny. Giving Chace Crawford extra nipples: not funny. An erect phallus with "Drink My Love Juice" written on it pointed at Chuck Bass’ mouth…okay, that one was funny.

Bacon Bits

Back to Beanstockd>>

Mixed emotions in the cubicles of Beanstockd yesterday. The end of Gossip Girl meant morning excitement morphing quickly into a miserable afternoon full of aimlessness and despair. Anyway, here’s a quickie recap.

Blair gave Georgina her comeuppance, but Serena’s lies were still too much for Dan. Is he moving on to Vanessa? What about Nate? He punched his dad at the wedding (nice try on the sabotage, Rufus) and he just wasn’t that into “Punky Brewster.” Chuck Bass, ever the orator. His Best Man Speech got him Blair. Whom he promptly ditched at the helipad for the real deal: Amelia played by Lydia Hearst. Who should use this summer to learn how to act.

*Our afternoon production meeting just spilled-over onto the site somehow*

Kandz: Georgina? HANDLED. Give B 24 hours and all Serena’s melodrama turns into “have fun at reform school”… minus the whole getting dumped thing. Best Blair line yet: “Haven’t you heard? I’m the crazy bitch around here.” I think GG needs more self-referential one-liners.

Kandz: Slash wtf was everyone wearing at the wedding?

Bacon Bits: I think we did a post about those outfits. It was something about Bret Michaels and recycled Barbie scraps. How about Chace acting? He’s never had this many lines (not those kind of lines, Kandz). Captain Brooding’s breathing alone might have doubled his carbon footprint in this episode.

S: Has to agree with Kandz. Vanessa’s get-up immediately evoked the snap-judgement: JCPenney Juniors on 2 pops of adderall and a liter of Fanta. Sometimes we wonder whether the clause: “must obey all stylist’s decisions no matter how unjust” is written into actors’ contracts… which would serve as the only legitimate explanation for the travesty that was that wedding scene.

Kandz: Wait, speaking of ‘those kind of lines’ I forgot about Serena’s best self-referential ever! S to Nate: “You know how I get frisky in the summer…” whoa, I guess we’re over our crippling morals, Ms. Van der Rebounding.

Bacon Bits: That’s why Evil Chuck returning with a simple pep talk and pat on the back from his dad was so gratifying. I only wish he had composted all those roses he threw in the trash when he made his move on “Amelia.”

S: Gossip Girl demonstrated wisdom beyond its years by ending the season with the line “I’m Chuck Bass,” sharing with young viewers the age-old adage: once a rapist, always a rapist.

Bacon Bits: On that note, should we move this to the comments section?

Next week our favorite magazine profiles our favorite show. Gossip Girl is back on the air and steaming up the cover of NYMag.

This season it’s clear that the show is about one thing and one thing only. Still not sure what it is? Watch the OMFG preview — let’s just say subtlety is not its forte.

Unfortunately, last night’s episode did not live up to the pervy expectations the previews planted in our easily excitable minds. Instead of backseat boning and threesomes, we got kleptomania, drug scandals and shout outs to Socialista — which ain’t too bad either.

What made us forgive GG for the false advertising was the spectacular Blair-Jenny showdown — we don’t even know where to put our money in this battle. With Jenny pulling the ex-boyfriend card and dipping into the yogurt-for-lunch-lifestyle, she’s ready to dominate and will perhaps introduce her rexy girl crew to a new fad, the Low Carbon Diet.

The season has kicked off, and with a line like: “I have a table at Butter. Reservations under Waldorf…in case there’s an afterparty” — looks like we’re in for another few weeks of sweet sweet OMFG action.

Drizzler

Last month we told you about YSL’s Manifesto, a catalog of images from their Spring ’08 ad campaign. Printed on recycled paper, it featured Kate Moss and was distributed gratis in the chicest of cities like London, Milan and New York. As you can see, Julianne Moore and Gwyneth get their fashion pointers from Beanstockd. They both rocked the very dress we showed you. We’re not shallow like other gossip rags, so we won’t say that Co-Kate wins.

You’re welcome, S! Blake Lively got all gypsy and snatched up a pair of Natalie Portman’s “vegan” shoes last week. Te Casans are animal-free and the proceeds benefit environmental groups. We know a good one!

Bacon Bits

PS: It was leaked that one of the Gossip Girl guys is coming out of the closet when the show resumes. How typical. We’re guessing he’s pictured here, but producers remain tight lipped. If it’s not Eric, it better be better than when Luke’s dad was outted on The OC and they were exiled to Portland.