Autumn in the Greenmarket. I visited with the girl who sells acorns today. You would not believe the size of her chestnuts. I couldn’t stop staring, so she started talking green to me. A valuable species for reforestation, beech trees—the bearers of said chestnuts— compete well for resources, which means they grow quickly.

Thanksgiving on Gossip Girl. After going rogue for a few episodes, Little J is principled again. Vanessa, however, popped her dark side cherry. She burgles mail now—especially love letters addressed to Jenny from Nate. Was anyone else getting intermittent interference? There was this guy with a pube-stache who kept showing up on my screen every time Serena was on it.

Clan in da front, let ya feet stomp. ESPN’s been getting more playing time on my tube lately. In college football, Alabama (roll tide!) is working its way toward a national championship meeting with Texas Tech, but both schools still have tough games ahead. College hoops tipped off last week and we already have a huge upset. Yikes, Kentucky, Virginia Military Institute? In the NBA, Kobe Bryant and the Lakers were finally handed their first loss by Detroit—the greatest winning streak of all time, the Wu-Tang Clan’s run in the mid-90s, is safe.

I learned about “e-waste” on 60 Minutes. There’s a black market for all those old computers and phones we throw away. Seemingly reputable recycling centers in the US are shipping everything from monitors to Xerox machines to China, where, using “medieval techniques,” valuable trace materials like mercury and gold are extracted. The residual effects on the local ecology are devastating and the criminals on both sides of the Pacific should go right to f@#king jail.

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Drew Barrymore is our girl. We’ve loved her long time. But the fact that we caught her at Webster Hall FULL FRONTAL SNOGGING Chuck Bass aka Ed Westwick makes us love her a little less. For starters, Ed is ours (ok, so it’s in our dreams). Not to mention, Drew’s 33, and Ed is what, like 21? There are only a few couples that can pull off that big of an age difference (Demi and Ashton); everyone else should stop robbing the cradle and leave the good youngins’ to us.

Ok, so we’re jealous. We’d love to be the ones straddling Westwick’s leather pants but alas, our life isn’t a movie. If we did get the chance to get up close and personal with Westwick, we might ask him why he wasn’t part of the recent GG initiative to go green. In case you missed them, members of the GG cast teamed up with the NRDC to produce green video clips with UES flair. Ed was noticeably absent, as was Chace Crawford (who was also spotted with Drew recently!). Perhaps they’re too busy courting Miss Barrymore to court the environment? Westwick should know that the line “I’m Chuck Bass” won’t work on Mother Nature.

Sarah

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In an effort to re-create what occurred immediately following the “big bang,” European scientist have created the $10 billion Large Hadron Collider. The Collider’s purpose is to fire subatomic particles at each other to see what happens when they collide (Is it just me or do scientists sound a lot like kindergartners sometimes? And could we somehow harness that power?). A German chemist named Professor Otto Rossler is worried that black holes will be created from this experiment and will "eat the planet from the inside" much like incandescent light bulbs eat energy and the Sarah Palin media coverage consumes the American people’s attention. Even Gossip Girl’s Chace Crawford has been drawn into the Palin vortex, he recently remarked, “I’m not gonna lie. Sarah Palin is quite attractive.” Palin’s gravitational pull has managed to capture our sexy Upper East Sider, is anything safe?

LD

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To commemorate our one year anniversary, this month we’ll be re-visiting classic Beanstockd posts. Check it. WARNING: The following story is by no means current, but the green spin is timeless.

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If you’ve been anywhere near a bus stop or a subway station recently you’ve seen these provocative Gossip Girl ads. After the success of their spring ‘OMFG!’ campaign, The CW is cutting right to the chase by flaunting the show’s criticism in an appeal to our more rebellious and primal sides.

Since mass transit is a Beanstockd term of employment, we have seen said ads and we have a message for all the clever "subway artists" out there. QUIT DEFACING THESE ADS! We don’t know who put you in charge of the subway beautification committee, but we’re old school green and we say littering and vandalizing are gateway climate changers. What’s next, a bonfire at the tire factory? Giving Blake Lively a Hitler-stache is not funny. Giving Chace Crawford extra nipples: not funny. An erect phallus with "Drink My Love Juice" written on it pointed at Chuck Bass’ mouth…okay, that one was funny.

Bacon Bits

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Mixed emotions in the cubicles of Beanstockd yesterday. The end of Gossip Girl meant morning excitement morphing quickly into a miserable afternoon full of aimlessness and despair. Anyway, here’s a quickie recap.

Blair gave Georgina her comeuppance, but Serena’s lies were still too much for Dan. Is he moving on to Vanessa? What about Nate? He punched his dad at the wedding (nice try on the sabotage, Rufus) and he just wasn’t that into “Punky Brewster.” Chuck Bass, ever the orator. His Best Man Speech got him Blair. Whom he promptly ditched at the helipad for the real deal: Amelia played by Lydia Hearst. Who should use this summer to learn how to act.

*Our afternoon production meeting just spilled-over onto the site somehow*

Kandz: Georgina? HANDLED. Give B 24 hours and all Serena’s melodrama turns into “have fun at reform school”… minus the whole getting dumped thing. Best Blair line yet: “Haven’t you heard? I’m the crazy bitch around here.” I think GG needs more self-referential one-liners.

Kandz: Slash wtf was everyone wearing at the wedding?

Bacon Bits: I think we did a post about those outfits. It was something about Bret Michaels and recycled Barbie scraps. How about Chace acting? He’s never had this many lines (not those kind of lines, Kandz). Captain Brooding’s breathing alone might have doubled his carbon footprint in this episode.

S: Has to agree with Kandz. Vanessa’s get-up immediately evoked the snap-judgement: JCPenney Juniors on 2 pops of adderall and a liter of Fanta. Sometimes we wonder whether the clause: “must obey all stylist’s decisions no matter how unjust” is written into actors’ contracts… which would serve as the only legitimate explanation for the travesty that was that wedding scene.

Kandz: Wait, speaking of ‘those kind of lines’ I forgot about Serena’s best self-referential ever! S to Nate: “You know how I get frisky in the summer…” whoa, I guess we’re over our crippling morals, Ms. Van der Rebounding.

Bacon Bits: That’s why Evil Chuck returning with a simple pep talk and pat on the back from his dad was so gratifying. I only wish he had composted all those roses he threw in the trash when he made his move on “Amelia.”

S: Gossip Girl demonstrated wisdom beyond its years by ending the season with the line “I’m Chuck Bass,” sharing with young viewers the age-old adage: once a rapist, always a rapist.

Bacon Bits: On that note, should we move this to the comments section?

On Friday morning, news of a Rumer Willis/Chace Crawford hook-up spread like a SoCal wildfire. The Hapsburg-jawed daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore was seen with JC Chasez’s “wingman” prancing sprightly from one NYC night spot to the next—leaving Beanstockd’s female staffers slack-jawed and reaching for the bottle. Thankfully, on Friday afternoon, Crawford’s people moved swiftly to dispel any notion of a coupling.

A true Rumer Willis coupling is her new gig with Wal-Mart. Along with Wilmer Valderrama and a host of C-listers, she’s hawking Ocean Pacific beachwear for the discount retailer. Low expectations much? Rumer Willis is not a legit celeb and the last time we saw Wilmer Valderrama he was in “Fast Food Nation,” the movie based on the locavore-lauded novel of the same name. The movie examines the evolution of the fast food industry and its adverse affect on many topics including the environment. If you haven’t seen the movie, Wilmer falls feet first into a ginormous meat grinder at the end.

Bacon Bits

Next week our favorite magazine profiles our favorite show. Gossip Girl is back on the air and steaming up the cover of NYMag.

This season it’s clear that the show is about one thing and one thing only. Still not sure what it is? Watch the OMFG preview — let’s just say subtlety is not its forte.

Unfortunately, last night’s episode did not live up to the pervy expectations the previews planted in our easily excitable minds. Instead of backseat boning and threesomes, we got kleptomania, drug scandals and shout outs to Socialista — which ain’t too bad either.

What made us forgive GG for the false advertising was the spectacular Blair-Jenny showdown — we don’t even know where to put our money in this battle. With Jenny pulling the ex-boyfriend card and dipping into the yogurt-for-lunch-lifestyle, she’s ready to dominate and will perhaps introduce her rexy girl crew to a new fad, the Low Carbon Diet.

The season has kicked off, and with a line like: “I have a table at Butter. Reservations under Waldorf…in case there’s an afterparty” — looks like we’re in for another few weeks of sweet sweet OMFG action.

Drizzler

Chace, Chace, Chace… Carrie Underwood is such a pretty girl! Why do you need to torture her so? In the last week, we’ve heard about you dancing with three Playboy Bunnies at once and you’ve been seen kissing Rebecca Ginos, the ex of Maroon 5’s Adam Levine.Of course, Chace’s people say that he and Ginos are just old friends. Sure, whenever we run into our old prom dates, we make out with them, too. Why not? The best part, though, is the Playboy Bunnies. They were seen spanking Chace. Maybe that’s just what he needs? That said, Carrie would probably prefer not to farm the job out.It hard to imagine such a pretty boy ever getting in trouble.

Then again, other long-time ne’er-do-wells ended their reign of impunity this past week. When Big Oil decides to drop $7 Billion on a project, usually governments step aside. That said, the BBC is reporting that Imperial Oil has been ordered to halt a project in Alberta Canada until the project can account for its greenhouse gas emissions. A new town has grown up around this project, inhabited entirely by oil workers, so we doubt Imperial feels quite the same about its spanking as Chace felt about his.

BradyDale